Sallee's White Christmas

Hello my friends. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!! We left kinda last minute.. and I didn't realize where we would be out of touch. We were invited to Colorado by our friends the Gabriel and Bledsoe family.. and our new way of living now.. is never pass up an opportunity. :-) It was so beautiful and fun. We were in awe.. pictures won't do it justice but I'm sharing anyway. In my 40 years of living I've never seen snow this beautiful and thick.. me, Curt and the girls had a BLAST.. We are on the home stretch to getting back home.

I've missed you guys. Love Debbie

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It's GOOD.. It's good.. It's good..

God is watching over us.. our friends are watching over us.. Thank you so much for your prayers.. The scans came back with no report or signs of cancer.. I'm off for 3 months. :-) I'm overjoyed.. don't even know what else to say.. imagine that ... me speechless.. HA. there's a smile on my face from ear to ear.. Thank you again.. We are blessed !!

Staying Busy

Staying busy.. 2 words that can't even describe what I'm doing to myself.. will I pay for it later.. maybe.. maybe not. All is good.... all... is.... good.... May God bless us all with good news tomorrow. I know it sure would make a good Christmas for Cheyenne.. seeing how I found out she saw Santa when her class went to a local restaurant the other day.. they were told they could ask for only one thing.. she didn't want to tell me what she asked for thinking I would be mad.. but if you haven't guessed by now.. it was a wish for me and my cancer to go away. Bless her big heart and bless the man in the Santa suit... i'm sure it wasn't easy for him. As a mom I'm proud to have raised a young girl with such a big heart.. I can only imagine how easily it will be broken. Anyway... sorry I went off on being mushy.. but that is what you guys are here for. :-) I physically feel very good, even mentally good, a little scatterbrained by stretching myself out there but I'm ok. So my appointment will be tomorrow at 10. Good news or not so good news, it usually takes me a while before I can get to you all to let you know how it goes.. so be patient.
Thank you for your prayers, I feel them working everyday. God bless you. Deb
(p.s.. on the right, i wanted to share a letter to Santa from Chey, a project she did at school. So sweet)

It's Monday...

Good morning bloggers. Hope you all had a great weekend.. we enjoyed 2 Christmas parties this weekend. Lot's of fun. So this morning I'm studying for my CT Scan.. (haha) I can't eat anything until after the test.. I go in at 12:30 have to drink the lovely drink for an hour then get scanned.. Then... I can eat.. I'll be ready to eat a horse by then. I'm such a morning person that needs breakfast to get going.. Ugh.. but I'm really ready for this scan. So I'll get the scan today and meet with the Dr. on Thursday for the results. I've put it in Gods hands and will continue to move on. Say a little prayer for me and my family today and this week in hopes that all goes well and looks good. Thank you and God Bless. Debbie

TGIF !!

Happy Friday.. I know you guys who work don't think for us non working people the weekend can be as much appreciated as it is for you.. but your wrong.. we love the weekend just as much. :-) Gonna be busy this weekend but not to busy to hang out and enjoy the weekend.. I can tell you I won't be hitting the shopping crowds. (yeah) Gonna try to keep my mind off the big week next week. I'm was about 80/20 worrying about next week.. but now I'm at about 60/40 (lol) which is good.. I'm ready to take on whatever is thrown my way. My biggest concern right now is the frequent pain I get in some areas.. but that could be old age or cold weather.. :-) right? (don't answer that) I got a birthday coming in February.. 40 has been a little rough.. 41 is gonna be great!! So let's go out and take on the weekend !! Enjoy and be safe. Love Debbie

Whacha Know Bout Me

I'm doing good.. still checking off the to do list.. what I've found to be funny.. projects written on the list look small compared to what's involved... :-@ duh...
So it seems everyday I find out someone new or someone I don't even know comes here to read.. how cool is that.. so I was thinking about things you may or may not know about me and thought I'd share.. I don't eat vegetables.. well, I will eat.. corn on the cob and green beans if in a cassarole. I love a good bargin.. I break for garage sales and love clearance racks. I don't like dusting or mopping. When it comes to projects I'm very, very detailed.. (drive myself nuts) Love all kinds of music.. country, hip hop, easy listening.. (who'd a thought) you will always find a to do list on my desk and in my purse.. I love my laptop. As far a cooking.. well uh.. not so much.. Curt can't stand the words.. hamburger helper.. (lol) my hair.. is naturally curly, I straighten it everyday. I was adopted when I was a baby and have one younger brother and sister. I'm a sucker for reality shows. Well.. that's off the top of my head.. maybe you learned something about me today you didn't know.. anyway, it was so you could get to know me a little better and hopefully make you laugh or smile.. have a good day. Deb

Happy 46th Curt

Today is the old mans birthday!! 46 years!! He's returning from out of town today and Chey and I are sitting here in the dark waiting for him to arrive.. Chey wants to surprise him.. so cute. she's so excited.. i bet she'll jump out before he even opens the door. We'll be doin some family time tonight.. since it's his birthday and he's been gone. should be fun. Have a good rest of the day and Stay Warm.. it's really cold and windy here.. Love ya Deb.

Things I love

Thank you for your supporting words yesterday.. I had a good day.. and got a lot done on my checklist. yea!! So this morning, sitting at my desk finishing paying bills... I stopped.. looked around the room and started looking at all the little things in my area that are fun and inspirational. I see.. 7 Believe signs.. several smell good candles.. friends and family fun pictures and a puppy curled up taking a nap. How cool is that.. so if you have a second.. tell me something you see that you love or inspires you that is right there around you.. anything.. like my ring on my finger I see when I'm typing.. play along and share.. love ya. Deb

Worry Wart..

Hello.. hope you all had a great weekend. Busy as usual for me but fun. So I thought I'd share with you what's running through my brain so maybe you guys can help me push through it. Of course my Dr. appt. is coming soon... so underneath the fun Deb is a little... make that a lot of worry. Worry what they will find.. worry that it is so close to Christmas.. worry that if they do find something they will have to act immediately. I honestly think I have developed a small ulcer but I won't let it stop me. I'm out to make sure I have all the shopping done and little to do things done before my appointment. I'm still going 100% and happy but the happy and the worry are starting to fight each other.. :-) Hell, I'm a woman.. it's natural for us to worry.. I will get through it.. I've been doing a lot of praying.. asking you guys to do so to and help a sista out. Curt has left to go out of town for a couple of days so I won't feel bad hitting the streets and getting the shopping done, but include him in your prayers while he travels. you know how sometimes we women feel better after a good cry.. I just may get an opportunity to do it and get it out of my system.. please don't feel sad for me.. I'm good. I just needed to share today. Have a good Monday and I'll check back in soon. Love you all. Deb

Nice Poem

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love.

I just read this in one of my emails and had to share. Sure sums it up... :-) May God fill your day with blessings!! Deb

Clutter out..

So this week.. my goal is to get the clutter out of my house.. can you say garage sale.. We worked on this around the house this weekend and I can't tell you how relieving it is.. why do I keep so much crap?? I saw the cleaning your clutter on Oprah one day and it is so true.. I promise it even makes you feel better.. feel better, health wise.. how is this.?? I don't know but I'm loving it.. of course I'm loving having a mission to do something as well.. :-) so I'm off to the clutter, have a wonderful day. Pass a smile along today.. watch how it makes you feel when you get one back. :-)

Rejuvenating !!

Hi all.. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was great. I feel rested and rejuvenated.. Which can only mean I can go full force again.. right? no really I'm going to "try" to find a balance. I'd love to hear your best memory from Thanksgiving.. I hope you got great pictures. One of my best memories was my mother in law went around the room and asked the kids and adults to say something they were thankful for.. if you've never done this.. it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving to do so.. what adults, kids and teens say they are thankful for can really bless your heart and bring you to reality of what's really important to them.. With the cooking and hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving.. I'm not sure you all were fortunate enough to sit back and really take in where you were and who you were with.. from my shoes I'm looking through a different pair of glasses and taking it all in.. just being there and being healthy was so beautiful.. We played games and laughed so hard or faces and stomachs hurt.. that was a blast.. laughter for the soul.. Glad to be sharing with. I'll be back tomorrow.. love and blessings to you all...
Debbie

Thanksgiving

So getting ready for Thanksgiving.. I want to remind you all to be thankful for being with family, friends and loved ones.. say yer prayers, and enjoy your weekend.. Don't forget to take pictures and BE IN THEM as well. I pray for all of you to have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. Check out the slideshow from our Thanksgrilling weekend. They are so fun to watch.. we really enjoyed visiting with you all and hope you understand how much we love and appreciate you all. Love Debbie

Monday

Wow.. It feels like a Monday that most of you would be calling in sick for. I'm pretty tired from the weekend. Or should I say.. really tired. I want to rest, but don't want to rest. I know it is very important for me and my sanity to get plenty of rest.. sometimes I just can't let myself do it.. Scared I'm giving in.. crazy, I know.. we all have those days where we need to sleep for a day to build our energy back up.. I just can't do it.. but I may just be at a point where I have to do it. I'm looking forward to our long weekend.. we will be at home and can eat, sleep, eat, lounge, shop, christmas lights.. look at me.. already getting a list going. :-) hope you guys are getting off for Thanksgiving.. I'll check back in tomorrow. Love ya. Deb

Dance Like No One's Watching

You've heard the saying Dance Like No One Is Watching.. that was me last night :-) We are in Houston with friends and the girls got together and took me out last night. We went to this Salsa club.. the band was awesome.. they played anything you asked for.. 70's, 80's, Rock, Country, and mexican and Salsa.. it was so much fun.. I haven't been out with the girls in a while.. of course we acted like fools. Now.. remember my note the other day about old age.. I can't hardly move today.. my thighs, knees and feet are killing me.. i had to soak in a hot bath this morning.. yep.. that's that 40 year old body talking to me.. lol. Was it worth it.. oh yea.. and would I do it again.. sure thing.. so we are having our Thanks Grilling party for all who did the benefit tomorrow.. excited to get with our friends down here and hang out.. voice still not 100% but I don't care.. reckon I'll try to bust out in karaoke. Living good and having fun. All of you have a great weekend. I'll report back on Monday with pictures. :-) Love Debbie

Cold Weather or Cancer

Ok, so I know I've hit the ripe old age of 40. :-) But you are only as old as you think you are.. and I'm still pre-teen (haha) However, you know how when you get older and you start to ache or have pains that you didn't have before.. at 40 everyone is telling you .. that's old age.. and that is what I keep telling myself.. but I have to admit that sometimes deep inside a little voice wonders about the cancer.. one of my biggest fears, is to go to the doctor and hear that it is all over my body.. Not sure how I can overcome those thoughts. I know it's in God's hands and no matter what I do or take I can't change my fate.. I'm just sharing my inner thoughts with you guys.. I'm not in a funk or anything. You know me sometimes just getting it off my mind helps. So today I'm working around the house. This weekend we are going to Houston and having a "Thanks Grilling" party for all who worked so hard on our benefit. No agenda, just haning out with friends. I'm a little bummed cuz I don't have my voice back and I'm really looking forward to blessing everyone with my karaoke skills.. (NOT) :-) but I do love me some karaoke. So this Ol lady's about to get busy here at home. Ya'll have a great Wednesday. Just want you to know I'm blessed to have you all here to listen and support me. Thank you all. Love Debbie

Better today

Chey seems to be doing better today. Thank god. Dad is back home so maybe things are kinda back to normal. She met with the school counselor yesterday and feels comfortable talking to her, so thats good. So gotta tell ya about this weekend. Remeber me writing about our cheer competition, the believe shirts and winning. Well it didn't go without a protest from one of the cheer coaches. Of course reviewing the score sheets.. we still won. But that wasn't good enough for her. Our football team had a playoff game at their stadium on Saturday, not playing against them but at their stadium. The coach went out of her way to make a BELIEVE sign "breakthrough" size and post it where all could see when they walk in to pay to get it. But the sign didn't just say Believe.. it said.. We BELIEVE, We're #1. Pretty much calling me out and using OUR word... what a poor display of sportsmanship.. I understand that my parents / support team put on their "S" capes went after her and she was eventually forced to take it down before I got there. (go support team!!) I wrote to a paper.. still sitting on if I want to do anything else.. I should just feel sorry for her and move on.. which I will probably do, going with the confidence of what goes around comes around. But if feels good to share and get it off my chest with you guys. ya know. I'm loving this weather... kinda breezy today but so wintery.. I love it. You guys have a great day.. be back to chat tomorrow. :-) Love ya. Deb

Ugh!! 11/17

Hi all.. it's been a crazy morning. Started last night. Curt left to go out of town yesterday.. he'll be back late tonight.. Chey and I had an evening together.. playing the board game Trouble, play dough and watching Nancy Drew. Then out of no where Chey says she's going to as for something special from Santa.. after about 5 minutes of digging it out of her.. She's gonna ask him to take my cancer away.. so I had to go into the story on why Santa can't do that.. she started bawling.. me too.. then... of all things.. who knew freaking Nancy Drew's mother died at an early age and she can't remember her.. OMG.. Needless to say it was an emotional night.. she woke up this morning feeling about the same so we went to see the school counselor.. Chey stayed with her and talked after I left.. as long a I promised to come have lunch with her.. fixing to head out to do that.. Me, I went "emontional" shopping.. ever done that?? Oh yea, just walked right up into Walmart without and agenda and walked out with a basket full of stuff.. yep.. that was me today. I'm doing ok.. I think we are all coming down off this fast paced rollercoaster from cheer and everything and have a little to much time on our hands to think about "other things". Add a little extra prayer in there for Cheyenne today. ;-) thank you for being here for me. Love Debbie.

Wednesday already..

Good morning.. Wednesday already? So I've been doing what the doctor and my hubby have told me.. relaxing and resting my voice.. doing much better today and going crazy and what my house looks like.. so i'll be making up some time today... don't worry, in moderation.. :-) It's kinda been nice not having a to do list a mile long, but for me that only means I'll be bored in a few days and have to have another project to get myself into.. so I'm off to the cleaning for the day.. all of you have a great day and I'll be back soon. Love Debbie

Day of Rest

Wow.. 11 comments on my last post.. I love it!! Thank you so much.. I'm glad I was able to share my moment with you guys so you felt like you were there. :-) So today my baby girl is 9 years old.. my how they grow so fast.. I on the other hand, have tested my immunine system and strength to the fullest.. I'm doing fine.. but have a head cold, coughing and Laryngitis.. went to the doctor (demanded by my hubby) since this is the first time I've been sick since the cancer notice.. better safe than sorry.. So in order for me to get better.. i can't talk.. ok, you guys know me.. how in the heck do I go without talking.. I'm mean.. even when I'm not with someone I talk to myself.. I talk in my sleep.. sounds like I may have this for a while.. haha.. Anyway, gonna go pick out some sweet pictures of my baby girl and post a slideshow on the right.. in celebration of Chey's birthday.. Love to you all.. let's have a great week. Debbie

My Cup Runneth Over... (this is a long read)

Check out our 1st place Cheerleaders!!

The girls did a "van-tastic" job last night. Turning on their smiles, expressions, cheering and dancing their hearts out. All giving 110%. I'm so proud of them !! But that's not all the story.. see below.

As I prepare my girls, going through motions, cheers, etc. I'm wrapped up in making sure they've went to the bathroom, getting water.. and so on.. kind of... but not really noticing that my other coaches weren't around.. finding out later that there was a whole different preparation going on around me.. now, I'm not usually surprised.. If I'm not planning something, I'm definately in on it. ya know. I've passed parents in the hallway who were frantically looking for seats, talked to coaches about drawing our order number.. etc.. then.. one of my cheer moms and Chey's gym teacher walk in wearing matching RED shirts.. which I asked the parents to do.. but these shirts didn't say Vandals.. they said... (trying not to breakdown).. WE BELIEVE.. I looked at them and my eyes read theirs.. "yes, Debbie.." no words were said.. just hugs, smiles and holding back tears.. it wasn't until then, I paused, opened my eyes from focusing on my cheerleaders.. took a moment.. and look around the hallways and gym.. I see parents, coaches, coaches from other teams and the emcee all wearing WE BELIEVE shirts.. (if you now have chills or your tearing up... then multiply by 10) shirts were also made for my cheerleaders who put them on after the event. All coordinated by our cheer commissioner and a dear friend, April Bledsoe.. and of course carried out by all.

BELIEVE... a word that has so much meaning and depth for me and my family.. originating for us from our friends in Polk County on a trail ride, being carried out through Montgomery and Harris County by way of a benefit, living and breathing through one of my most favorite past times, cheerleading.. here in Van Zandt County..

I've heard "my cup runneth over" used many times and in many ways.. but never.. until last night and these last 6 months.. have I truly felt the depth of the meaning... (pause.. as I wipe my tears) never.. until our announcement of the cancer this year... and receiveing the support and love from family, friends and even strangers.. have I stepped back.. looked at my life.. and asked if I was worthy of these blessings. May you all know... that if I died tomorrow... what god has done for me and what you all have given me truly makes "my cup runneth over". May God Bless You All. Debbie

Emotional Times...

Cheer competition tonight!! My girls looked awesome last night.. I darn near cried. You know the pride cry, where your eyes get watery.. that was me. THEN one of my cheer moms (Cheryl :-) came and hugged my neck and shared an amazing story with me. How a person in Tyler, who doesn't know me told her about my blog and that she reads it daily. (hi person ;-) now cheer mom read and feels like she knows me.. this too gave me a sense of pride that I can't even explain. AND Cheryl's comment on my blog tells me I am making a difference.. and helping others see life the way we should be. I'm truly, truly touched and thankful to have all of you here for me.. even though I have no idea who all I have out there.. just knowing your reading my "therapy page" makes me feel good. Thank you so much...

Do me a favor, when your saying your prayers today, (since I have such awesome prayer warriors) please add our pastor, Brother Joe McArthur. He went to the hospital to have a stint put in and found out he's going to have to have a quad by-pass today. We understood he was really discouraged about this.. so after cheer last night, DARBY and his family went to visit him.. it was late but the hospital and nurses loved it and let us in to visit.. and, we definately got a chuckle out of Brother Joe. So my dream of using DARBY are working.. I love it so much. Thank you all again.. have a blessed day, and I'll let you know how we did tomorrow. Go Vandal Cheer!! Love ya. Debbie

Cheerleading jitters

So tomorrow is the day.. :-) my pee wee cheer team will be having their competition. It's our "superbowl" of cheerleading if you will.. now this is nothing like what you see on tv.. this is more like little community cheer competition but it all matters.. ya know. We have practiced until we can't practice any more.. but guess what.. one more practice tonight.. show offs.. we really can't compete with some of the teams.. they have flippers and more girls.. so I'm going in with a positive attitude and whatever we come out with it has been fun. A couple of months ago I was just worried my health wouldn't allow me to coach cheer.. and making it through it is a huge accomplishment and blessing for me.

It's Monday

Good Morning.. hope you all had a great weekend.. the weather was beautiful. Halloween was a blast. For those adults who only dress your kiddos up for Halloween.. your missing out! Friday, friends met at our house to take the kids to a haunted hay ride. Curt told everyone to dress up.. (imagine that) Curt coming up with this brilliant idea.. so we pulled out our costume box from halloween past and all adults had to come up with something to wear.. David (ghost) went home and got his.. dressing up was so much fun.. brings out the little kid in you.. seriously.. we all rode together in the motor home (can you say redneck) went to CiCi's pizza then went to the hay ride.. Course the kids thought we were crazy but loved it that we got into character with them. Saturday, Van had Trick or Treat night so we took the kids to town for sweets. So todays lesson... don't lose the little kid in you... find it and enjoy life.. :-) enjoy the Halloween slideshow to the right. Have a great Monday. Deb

Happy Halloween!!

Just thought I'd wish you all a Happy Halloween.. keep it simple. I just got our weekend plans underway.. (nothing like last minute) Everyone have a safe and happy Halloween. I'll see ya here on Monday. :-) Love Deb

Hey there..

Hello friends... I've been playing so much lately I had to take time to catch up at the house.. still got a long way to go but the laundry is done. :-) Chey is still on her medicine but she is over the Strep. thank goodness.. my focus now is on my cheer team.. our pee wee cheer competition will be next Thursday.. they are doing great, but we have a lot of practices between now and then. My next doctors appointment has been scheduled for December 18th.. which is good.. it isn't an "exact" two months before my next appt. I don't know why this December month has been on my mind so much.. the good news is that I will have a ct scan done for this one.. My nerve doctor has also scheduled a follow up visit.. the good news there is the numbness in my feet is 99% better.. and he didn't expect us to see any resutls for at least 6 months.. just thought I'd share that blessing with you.. I'm doing good mentally.. :-) staying busy of course.. check out the new pictures I've added from our recent activities.. may you all have a blessed day. Love Debbie

13 years.. :-)

Today Curt and I celebrate 13 years of marriage.. And it's truly a celebration. Ups and downs.. yep, arguements, yep and life challenges.. double yes... but a marriage strong enough to make it through all of this is truly a blessing. Curt is my strength during my most difficult times.. an incident that will never leave my mind was at a doctors appt., him knowing I was scared.. stood up held me in his arms and said.. I give you my strength.. I lost it right there.. it's so easy to get in a routine of life.. and lose focus of how blessed we really are. This year has been an eye opener for our family and an opportunity to appreciate and celebrate all that we have. Learning again to focus on what is important in life and enjoy and live every moment to the fullest. Unfortunately, Curt is traveling to Los Angeles today and returning late tomorrow night.. I pray for safe travels for him and I pray that you all get the same opportunity to look into your lives and see your blessings. Love to you all. Debbie

10/27

So sorry I missed today.. (Monday) I was waiting on my pics from the weekend to share everything with you. Today was busy with Darby.. then Chey was feeling a little under the weather.. she didn't want to miss Red Ribbon week (drug free week) so I let her go.. took her to the doctor today and wouldn't you know it... she has Strep Throat.. I'm a terrible mother.. I should have known.. so we have antibotic and now.. Darby did kick off red ribbon week.. i think the kiddos loved him.. and I loved it.. I'll catch you guys up tomorrow from the weekend and whats going on through this head of mine... sleep tight.. Debbie

It's Friday! Go Hawg wild!

Happy Friday everyone!! So yesterdays news just inspires me to participate and go "hawg wild" at the Ben Wheeler Hawg festival this weekend.. We are creating hawg noses and ears to go on our 4 wheelers and jeep for the parade. Darby will be in the parade and is entering the Hawg Queen pageant. They say the crazier the better so I'll fit right in. Then Sat. night it's the Hawg Ball.. wear anything from suit and dresses to coveralls with your hawg nose of course.. Yep, I'll be "hamming it up" this Saturday. :-) you guys have a wonderful weekend. Take time to do something you enjoy. Love you. Deb

2 more months

Great news!! Two more months before I go back. Things look good.. he didn't feel any abnormalties.. he said they will continue to check the pelvic area and a ct scan will be done in December... if all looks good they will spread them out longer.. (dunno if i like that part) but we'll wait and see.. he also said they will continue to keep a close eye (ct scans) on the chest area since that has the soft tissue that this type cancer likes to attack (little scary) regardless the news was good.. thank you for your support and prayers.. sometimes my head says .. thank you don't seem like enough to you guys ... but my heart says you know. I'll be back tomorrow. See you then. Love Debbie

Thursday..

My morning has started off good. Typical get up and everyone ready.. I admit I did take an Ambien last night to make sure I would sleep and not worry. I had a church sign speak to me this morning :-) I love to read church signs.. theres always a good message serious and fun ones.. todays read.. "In God I trust, I will not be afraid." I love that god has found "creative" ways talk to me.. and I'm sure he's just as thrilled I have learned to listen and read. :-) I'm going to the doctor today with questions and an open mind. I'm thankful for how great I have felt over the last 2 months and all that I have been able to accomplish and do. I will let you know how it goes when I get back home. Thank you for your support and prayers. Debbie

Welllll Good morning

Happy hump day to you. I'm up a lil early this morning, got lunch made, had me a lil oatmeal.. and gettin ready to wake up Chey Chey.. course the new puppy has been up chewing on my toes all morning.. My cheer practice with my girls went good I think I pulled a hamstring trying to teach them the dance.. now that's a muscle I haven't used in a while.. omg. Chey's having an awards ceremony this morning.. gonna head out to that then run a few errands.. should be a less busy day for me. Tomorrow is the biggie.. dr appt. all in all, I feel ok about it.. wondering if I'll just be given another ride for a few months or if he'll order some other type treatment.. don't know how he's gonna tell anything except for a pelvic exam.. (fun fun) so I'm gonna focus on today, appreciate today and enjoy today. :-) Would love all of you to do the same, make today a little different and soak in your blessings.. and then include a lil prayer for me in there. Have a wonderful hump day.. Love Deb

Update from trip and this week

Hey there.. hope all are doing well.. The Branson trip was fantastic! Weather was beautiful, rode with the windows down, takin in all the sights and smells.. it was perfect. Naturally, I had an organized schedule once we hit Branson.. , caverns, magic, Dixie Stampede, rode a train, visited the Titanic, Butterfly museum.. etc.. but I did leave a day to look around at our own leisure.. that was fun too but Curt and Chey were so use to me and my schedule the seemed lost and kept asking what next.. I have a few pictures to share (slideshow on right) most of the shows and things we visited didn't allow cameras. So yesteday was a blur unpacking and all.. cheer practice for Chey with her competition team. I worked pretty much all night on my cheer teams music and dance they moved our competition up by 2 weeks. (yikes) but after the all nighter I think I'm there. So comes Thursday, my doctors appt. ready to ask my questions and get my answers. Although he has never treated me bad and has always spent time answering everything.. I don't feel I have enough to go on or a good understanding where I am on the priority list.. I thought with this being so rare I would get more attention.. maybe even start making the history books.. ya know.. but I haven't really seen that.. I'm not to worried.. staying to busy for that.. but I do ask that you pray for me this week, a good report, answers and peace of mind.. Love to you all. Debbie

On the road again..

Hello.. well, we took off last night and drove the rain, rain and more rain.. at times it was raining so hard, I'd ask Curt to go ahead and pull over and we'd take back off in the morning.. but you know men.. they have a mental "time frame" of when and where they want to be. So this morning still rain.. but more like drizzle and at least it's daytime and we can see.. :-) Enjoying being with the family and cute little Tobi is with us.. she too brings our family together in a cute way when we all sit down to play with her.. so I thought I'd shoot an update. Thanks for the advise Carolyn.. I get the point. :-) Love. Deb

Holy smoke what a day

Sorry I missed you guys yesterday.. I don't remember seeing daylight. :-) I was so tired last night.. I was like a kid when they are tired.. you could have said something to me and I would have started crying.. I subbed for P.E. yesterday, which I love.. but it was an on your feet all day thing and my feet told me about it.. got out about 3:30 got home changed and went to my cheer practice, where I believe all 15 of my girls had the same exhausting day I did and nothing was coming together.. thank goodness Curt took us to eat afterwards because there's no telling what I would have put on the table to eat. :-) Again at dinner I felt like it was all I could do to keep my head from falling into the mashed potatoes.. which would have definately made "funniest home videos" Can you remember the last time you've been that tired? It kinda frustrates me because "normally" I'm a person with no limits do it all and maybe once a month I get tired.. I know my energy level isn't what it use to be and I think I have found my limit. But can't sue me for trying. Today I'm meeting with the hospital for my volunteer interview for DARBY and packing to head out of town. Of course my computer will be with me so I will keep you posted on the trip. Talk to you soon! Love ya. Debbie

Busy times

My how time is flying.. and is it me or does it seem like every weekend is filled from now to December.. we have birthdays galore, halloween, Thanksgiving and so on.. everything to keep my mind busy and focused.. this week Thur. through Sunday we will be going out of town to Branson, Mo. pretty excited about that.. celebrating our anniversary. I'm also going through the volunteer process at the hospital so Darby and I can visit. :-) And Darby has been invited to help with Red Ribbon week and awards at our local school.. Very fun. Busy schedule.. busy times.. and squeeze in that little Dr. appt. next week. :-) Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Take Care. Deb.

No CT Scan scheduled (bummer)

Ok, so I called my cancer Dr. to ask if they "meant" to schedule a CT scan before my next appt. on the 24th. Fingers crossed that they would say yes. That is always my definate answer that there isn't anything going on inside. ya know. Dr. says it's still a little to soon for another CT Scan.. apparently the radiation is still working it's "magic" and they don't feel it's necessary. SO.. I'm gonna take that deep sigh breath.. and continue living and moving forward. Here's something funny.. I find myself asking the question.. am I considered a survivor?? Although the answer should seem like a yes, I'm still in the fight.. I haven't been released or anything like that and mine won't go away.. anyway.. I found this awesome website with great cancer awareness t-shirts and I want to get a couple.. because oddly enough when you are talking to people and find someone else that has cancer you develop this immediate relationship with them.. or at least I do.. (never meeting a stranger) so I thought getting a couple would help bring others out (as if they were hiding it) but my strength with others could help us fight a better fight. I know I haven't talked about the cancer in a while.. it doesn't mean it still isn't in and circling my inner brain.. :-) am I worrying.. yes and no.. But I'm not sad or depressed. I'm planning a little trip for my family next week. (1 week before my next Dr. visit) 1 - to celebrate mine and Curts 13th wedding anniversary. (10/28) 2 - have fun before going to the doctor.. (I always get worked up before a big appt.) Feels so good writing my thoughts out.. maybe after sharing it will leave my brain a little. :-) Thanks for listening. God Bless. Debbie

Beautiful Day

What an awesome day today.. weather is awesome!! Course living in the country is even better.. Took Tobi (puppy) out for potty.. she won't come back in.. so even at 9 weeks old, she knows what a good day it is. Gotta another eye opener for ya.. on the way home from work today.. ride with your windows down.. OMG .. to cool.. and of course if you have some good tunes, crank it up! No running tonight :-) the family will be at home.. i'm thinking a sit out in the yard will be nice.. I'm soo looking forward to bonfire time.. love staring at fires !! Hope all of you are doing good. I'd love to hear from ya either here or email. Take care and enjoy the rest of your day. Debbie

I'm a country song.. :-)

"Lord, I'm much to young to be this dang old..
You know your getting old when your body aches with the weather.. omg. I thought it was bad enough that I now own a pillbox!! We've had some rain yesterday and last night.. I had body aches and charlie horses.. It's all good.. your only as old as you think you are.. right! I know I don't act old.. I'm still a kid at heart... I say between I'm mentally between the ages of 11 and 13 :-) How old are you? Do you still have the little kid inside of you? I know we all feel beat to death sometimes running errands everywhere, the kiddos and their activities, being a mom and/or dad... it can be exhausting.. but occasionally the kid comes out in us all and it's sooo much fun you don't much care how bad you will be sore the next day. Enjoy today. Love Debbie

Friends

The saying in this picture is so true. Enough so, I'm am able to share with you all through this blog. Thank you for being friends. We had a great weekend.. got a little hot and tired from the football game on Sat. but my cheerleaders looked great. Working on my to do list for the week :-) Have a good Monday.

New Puppy

Happy Friday. Soooo, we broke down and got Chey a new Shih Tzu puppy.. Her birthday is in November.. so it came a little early.. but she's adorible! Chey has named her Tobi.. did I mention she was cute... I'll have a picture for you in a little while. I just got this email from my friend Melody. This pretty much sums up what I need to share with you today.. it's gonna be a beautiful weekend get out and do it! (thanks Mel.)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.. Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. (I did this the other day.. it was sooo rejuvenating) On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. (I loved that one) ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY! Have a great weekend. Love Debbie

Pictures

This picture somehow touched me enough to want to share. I love pictures.. and I usually get comments from you guys when I post them. They touch our hearts and remind us of our wonderful lives past and present with family and friends. I've been sharing all of my current photos and appreciating them more and more each day. One thing I have found a lot of us women do.. be the picture taker to avoid having to get our picture taken. Mostly because we dislike something about ourselves.. Over the past 5 months, I've made a point to "get in the picture" these memories are not about me and how fat I look or that I was having a bad hair day... they are memories for our family and if your not in the picture how will you be remembered?? With this new outlook... I view these pictures in a more appreciative light and love seeing me and my families happiness. For you that are the picture taker... Get in the picture.. Love you. Debbie

It's Cheer Tuesday..

Hello my friends and family.. Hope you all are doing well.. I'm busy today working on cheerleading stuff.. although we are a pee wee football team.. we have 1 competition that we go to in November and compete against the other cheerleaders in our league.. kinda like our "superbowl". We have to do a cheer, chant and a 2 minute dance.. I'm mixing music, creating a dance and so on.. fun, time consuming.. but I love it. Then Chey is on a competition cheer team Spirit of Tyler.. she loves that so much.. my little "mini me" :-) so proud. Got a call back from the hospital about DARBY visiting.. just gotta go through a short volunteer program and we'll be in like flin.. so much going on.. Oh and did I mention Curt and I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage in October.. Wow.. we need a trophy.. (haha) so today I'm rambling.. hope you've enjoyed hearing my wheels spin.. I'll check back in with ya tomorrow.. remember to
Live, Laugh and Love like theres no tomorrow!! Love Debbie

Hey there..

Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was filled with entertainment at a Mud Bog, a New Start... I was Baptized, followed by fun with friends and a disappointing loss by the Dallas Cowboys. I was so exciting to have friends and family show up to support my Baptism.. what a wonderful experience for us all. Thanks again for coming.. Did any of you take my advice from last week and spend some good ol fun with your family.. something out of the ordinary? If you didn't shame on you. (just picking on ya) I took a little week off from cheerleading and will be hitting it hard again this week. No luck last week on phone calls to get in to see the kiddos in the hospital so I think a surprise visit this week is in my plans.. Enjoy your day today and I'll be in touch. Love Debbie

Chillaxing

Hey there.. so sorry I'm late getting to you guys.. most of you probably won't get this till tomorrow. Today I did some chillin... and relaxing.. which mixed together is "chillaxing" :-) something everyone needs to do once in a while.. I even cancelled cheer practice.. and we have a bye this weekend.. it's just been entirely to busy around here.. so some deep breaths let em out slowly.. so I looked at the calendar and see that my Dr. appt. isn't until Oct. 23rd... sigh.. i know that is good.. but either I'm addicted to CT Scans or I just like KNOWING.. ya know.. I Believe.. and I'm strong.. and I'm enjoying life.. .. but I feel things.. little aches that make me wonder.. is that it.. what if... I don't want to be saying later I should have went with my gut.. I should have checked it out ... ya know.. I do believe and trust in god and if and when it's my time it's my time.. however, the mother and wife instinct in me worries about everything and everyone else around me. Don't know why everytime I sit here to write on this blog I come to this.. well, I do, It's like my journal.. It is my journal.. just open to the public to read.. (haha) You see what happens when I chill and don't keep myself busy.. my mind goes south.. i'm going to start focusing on my special Sunday.. this Sunday I'm getting baptized.. very special.. don't let this blog upset you or make you think I'm depressed.. I'm doing ok.. I just enjoy getting it out.. i think supressing it is worse.. thanks for listening.. holler back at ya'll soon. Love Debbie

It's Hump Day !!

We've made it through the first two days and on the down hill slide for the week.!! Today I'll be working on trying to get permission to get into the hospitals in Tyler to visit sick children.. to give them a smile for the day and hope. Sure just walking in as Darby could work.. I mean who could turn that wonderful face down.. but I want to be able to do it regularly..

Still having those deep thoughts and what if's.. going through my head.. I don't want to worry but as a female, mother and wife.. I think it's our nature to do this a little. I'm a believer and won't let it take over my day.. Think I'll put Curt's "Mr. Incredible" costume on and tackle the day. (sorry Curt) Keep me and our family in your prayers. Love Deb

Tuesday, Sept. 23

Hope you guys survived your Monday. It was good for me. I've started taking a new drink that is suppose to be good for me.. a blend of fruit and vegetables.. I can assure you I don't eat enough of either.. actually we all started taking it. Excited about that. Got a call that one of my cheerleaders grandmother passed away.. she was raising her with her dad. kinda upsetting and I'm not gonna lie.. it once again hits home for me. Although I may live another 100 years and be the coolest granny you ever seen.. I want everything to be in order for my family. So this week, I will be getting my will notarized.. another piece of advice to you.. if you don't have a will.. get one.. put it on your to do list.. you'd be surprised at the conversations that come up between you and your spouse when you start talking about it...it's not morbid.. it's thinking ahead and having things in order for your family. Ok.. i'm getting deep.. sorry. Still good.. still smiling.. still love talking to you all.. Oh, I got off on this message and forgot to tell you all that I'll be getting Baptized this weekend.. :-) I'm so excited.. I'll keep you posted. :-) love to you all.. Debbie

Helloooo Bloggers

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a good weekend. How am I? Tired.. very busy weekend with Darby, cheerleading, church, taking Chey to the fair.. but that's what livings all about. We're happy, having fun and living.. :-) I've had a few awesome quotes come my way that I'm adding on the right side.. be sure to read. They are my gift to you.. an inspiration if your not living life to the fullest to start doing so now.. don't wait.. especially don't until you get hit over the head with news like I did. I'm not saying we weren't living good before the news.. we're just learning not to pass up opportunities, don't look for excuses, and don't let stresses in your life take over who you are. I know this is a deep subject.. but it's whats on my mind and had to share.. Thank you all for checking in and reading and posting that you enjoy coming here to read.. now let this message go with you today, smile.. high five or hug someone out of the ordinary and see how it changes your day and theirs. Love you all. Debbie

Thur. 18th

Busy day for Debbie and Darby.. had our photo shoot today :-) running errands around town. Tonight is our homecoming parade.. I believe Darby will be making his appearance. I'm feeling good. I BELIEVE my nerves in my feet are getting better.. I've been on the blood thinners for about a month now.. It's you know theres no overnight wake up and it's all better.. but I think there may be a gradual change... that would be awesome.. I'm glad to hear some of you are getting a little relief back in the Houston area. So I'm off to get things ready for tonight. I'll be adding more Darby pics tomorrow.. if you haven't checked out his page click on the link below. Take care of you and yours.. Love Debbie

GIMME A "D"

He's HERE!! Larger than life, DARBY arrived at my door yesterday about 3:05. He's sooo darn cute.. all of us.. me, Curt and Chey had to put him on and take a moment to entertain the family. I gotta say we are a family of entertainers.. I laughed so hard I cried with Chey in the costume.. she was hilarious.. Curt looked like DARBY on steroids.. sooo big and tall.. and very funny.. a lot of you wouldn't believe Curt had it in him to be silly.. wrong!! So DARBY will have a big schedule ahead of him.. Thur. night is our Homecoming parade, Saturday is National Kids Day in Tyler.. he has a photo shoot this week.. just like a Sallee.. DARBY will hit the floor running. I'm very excited in case you can't tell.. got some practicing to do.. glad I got him for the Fall season.. he's pretty hairy and hot.. course me being married to Curt.. you can tell I like hairy men.. (just kidding Curt). I'm still praying for you guys down Houston way without power, etc. I miss ya'll. Love Debbie a.k.a. DARBY

Monday, Sept. 15th

Today started out with a long "to do" list. I was on a mission.. keeping my mind busy. Had trouble sleeping.. maybe anxious on DARBYs arrival.. kinda quiet and doing a lot of thinking in the car.. then.. a friend calls me for lunch.. perfect timing.. someone to chat with and break up the mission and deep thinking I was in. I come home to a very sweet package from a blog friend "Stephanie" someone I've never met.. yet thinking of me sent me a nice plaque with the title "Just Keep on Believing" thank you!! got another friend keeping me busy and smiling with "flair" on "facebook". so I admit to you this afternoon.. I hit a soft spot.. tears of appreciation to all that love, care and pray for me daily. yes, i'm a very outgoing, motivated, and an entergetic person who's fixing to crawl off into a mascot uniform to make people smile, be happy and encourage them to live their dream.. but I do have my moments of need.. I know god is there for me anytime and I talk to him a lot.. but yes, I'm a little selfish and want it all :-) !! (just ask Curt) And you guys always come through for me in my biggest times of need.. I love you and I thank you. For my friends and family struck by hurricane Ike.. your in our thoughts and prayers. We're here for you if you need anything.. Love to all.. Debbie

Sept. 13th

Hello all.. So glad to hear our friends seem to be doing ok down Houston way. I pray for speedy electricity recovery.. we got lucky.. wind and rain but nothing to heavy.. since i've been in the house all day.. i've been "fall" cleaning instead of spring cleaning.. our house is so cluttered.. i have several bags of trash.. just need to get them out of here really quick so i don't dig back through and get some of it out.. (haha) feeling good.. my backs been hurting.. i get occasional odd pains in stomach and pelvic area.. of course my mind ask.. is it cancer.. but i beat those thoughts out as soon as they come.. :-) hope everyone remains safe and dry this weekend. our doors remain open for those without power or suffering from the hurricane. Love Debbie

Holy smoke I'm tired...

Wow.. today's sub job was busy.. I swear every kid in my 4 classes had to go to the bathroom.. it was an emergency.. and if not, they needed to get something from their locker.. and if not that they needed to go to the nurse.. I could write a cute book of excuses to sub teachers and I bet people would buy it for laughter.. then I had cheer practice.. I'm tired.. Bet I get a good nights sleep tonight.. well I hope so.. I sub again tomorrow but in Life Skills children with severe disabilities.. only 4 of them. I think they have a hard time getting subs for that class.. I'm kinda attracted to those kiddos..
So Darby shipped but I won't get him till Tues. (bummer) I'm praying for you all who may be in the line of the hurricane.. things will be fine.. again, you are welcome to come to see me. I love company. Take care.. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Love Debbie

Let's Have A Hurricane Party!!

Friends.. you are welcome at the Sallee house anytime.. come on down. We have 30 acres, bring yer campers or we'll make room. I'm serious.. me casa is su casa.. (think that's how you say it) I'm subbing today.. 5th graders.. uh.. what was I thinking.. no.. really not to bad.. I got a good nights sleep last night.. felt reeeeeeaaaallllyyyy good.. I'm gonna write back tonight.. the kiddos are asking 100 questions to keep from doing their work or to get the answers.. :-) talk to you soon.

Sorry I'm Late

Well good morning.. been a fast paced morning.. I'll be subbing the next 2 days so I decided to visit and see where I'll be going.. I'm getting ready to finalize the details with DARBY.. I hope.. I hope to get him before the weekend.. so i can stand around in the mirror and look at and entertain myself.. :-) (ya'll know I will be) curt said i'll probably be sitting on the couch in it.. he could be right.. one thing you gotta know.. this is a large costume.. no High School Mascot.. this is the for real deal.. we have a lot of events coming up in the near future that I see myself going to.. gotta get in it and practice.. :-) I've never been good at patience.. (haha) glad fall is around the corner.. that will help keep me cool. So Chey's school is going good, she loves it. We're a little crowded in the house right now.. our nephew is staying with us while grandma (mother-in-law) is in Colorado for 3 weeks.. (something wrong with that picture) but we are doing ok.. he needs us.. he needs structure and he needs a true family.. but let me tell ya .. that 16 year old boy can EAT.. so I hope all of you are doing good. I hope I'm not boring you with my day to day.. it's better than the alternative.. ya know.. but keep praying for me.. it keeps me positive and believing. Love to you all. Debbie

Hi..

So I went to bed around 10pm.. went right to sleep only to be up wide awake at 2.. 4 hours is usually all I can get at night.. got up.. took a bath and was able to get back to sleep for a while.. I really don't know what keeps me awake at night.. I'm really not worrying about anything.. my head is busy.. but that's always been normal for me. I do get frustrated that I don't have the strength and endurance I use to.. but ya know I do expect miracles.. I just realized I'm only 5 months out from when I had surgery.. and only a little over a month from my last radiation.. guess I need to remind myself that every once in a while.. well.. every day.. cuz that's how often I "overdo" it.. so that's me putting a positive spin on my health.. :-) If you guys have any suggestons on sleep aids I'd love to hear them.. Thanks for checking in.. I'll get back to ya soon.

It's a new week..

Hope you all had a great weekend.. My cheerleaders looked good at their first game.. we still need work but they had fun. I was exhausted after the game.. took a little more out of me than I expected. Curt and I went out for drinks at a little local club Friday night.. long overdue for a little time together.. we had a really good time. Oh, did I mention it was Karaoke night. :-) yes, we both belted out a couple of songs.. good thing is there couldn't have been more than about 30 people there.. Confession time. I was suppose to go today (Mon.) for an ENG with the new nerve Dr. .. decided not to.. I figure if I'm gonna be off from the Cancer Dr. I should be off from all Dr.'s. Besides, we know the nerves are dead and can't be repaird.. so why do I need to be poked and prodded a second time..?? and that crap hurts. Got a lot going this week.. having lunch with an old friend.. I'll be subbing a couple of days and a to do list a mile long.. But biggest of all.. DARBY should be shipping this week. :-) He'll be like a new child into the family.. does that make me Bipolar? Ya'll don't be calling Rusk State Hospital just yet.. (haha) So, I'm in good spirits.. feeling pretty good.. my goal this week is to get on my meds regularly.. I'm so hit and miss and I know that isn't good. However, I'm still not going to start on the Effexor.. thanks to all who shared about the Effexor.. it helped me feel that the choice I've made is the right one. So I'll go for now. Take care and I'll talk to you soon. Love Deb

Deb's Hodgepodge Brain

Where did this week go..?? You know if you opened my brain, you would get dizzy from all the things flowing through it.. you should see me fighting with myself to decide what topic I want to talk about with you guys.. So I'm gonna throw my hodgepodge out there and you can pick what to reply to. :-)
Medicine - my cancer dr prescribed an anti-depressent for me to work for me for my hot flashes. I'm nervous about taking it.. addiction (says none) i've heard they are hard to get off of.. they can make you gain or lose weight.. he said he prefers this over hormones because they don't work well with Cancer.. dunno.. still haven't started taking them.. it's called Effexor. I've looked on the internet.. sounds ok.. just can't make myself do it.. whadaido?
Favorite commercial.. just saw a commercial that is so me and curt it's for Bridgestone.. where the guy makes his truck a helmet.. if you haven't seen it.. watch for it.. crack me up. oh and did i tell you me, curt and Chey have the I SAID A BEEF HOT LINK .. commercial memorized.. I love it.. you see this one a lot on Football days.. you can also see it on youtube.. so us..
I don't know why, but this last week I've signed up on Am. Cancer Society website, and found a website with some of the coolest cancer t-shirts.. it's like i told curt.. am i just now accepting that i have cancer.. maybe a new phase.. not sure.. they have some great sayings on the shirts.. one says - my cancer is rarer than your cancer.. another says I'm "radiant".. or if I have one more MRI i'll stick to the fridge.. intersting phase i think.. I'm feeling ok.. frequent back pain. sometimes i wonder ... is that cancer.. maybe another phase.. since i'm off for 2 months.. but all in all.. i'm thankful.. so there.. a little hodgepodge from the brain of Debbie.. and if you think that's it... your wrong.. but I could go on forever.. (cheerleading, school, Darby, working, stuff to do around the house, family.. you'd be scared to be in this brain.. Now.. get back to work.. :-) I'll talk to you soon. pick a subject to write me about.. :-) love ya'll.. Deb

Lunch, Backpack, and dresses oh my..

First Day of School for Chey... Here we go.. :-) without saying.. i think she's a little nervous. woke up last night throwing up and having an upset stomach.. I know she's excited.. just first day jitters. I'm making to do list for me.. kinda excited myself about having a little free time. I signed up last night on American Cancer Society website.. saw a chat for rare cancers.. i threw my type cancer out there hoping to hear from someone.. we'll see. I've realized after my last Dr. appt. I'm still effected by his last words.. I said.. "so I'm safe for 2 months" and he said "nothing in life is safe" get out there and live.. hummm. Curt's the same way, but said maybe it's his way of talking to cancer patients since he does it every day. I'm not dwelling on it.. but .. Anyway.. I'm excited about Darby and getting him a visitation schedule together.. :-) so that's where i'm gonna focus my efforts.. I'm hoping i get him this week.. gotta run.. get Chey off to school. You guys have a great day. I'll holler at ya'll soon. Love Debbie

Labor Day Weekend

Hope everyone's having a safe weekend. We went to visit with friends in Louisiana.. just got home today. Sunday. Love visiting.. Little tired from the trip.. but no different than anyone would be.
As you can see to the right.. They emailed me pics of Darby. He's so funny.. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to put smiles on peoples face. Don't ya think? I'm so excited.
You guys stay safe. I'll be in touch soon. Love ya. Debbie

Thank You

Thank you for your comments on my good news. Gotta tell ya, it's got me a little emotional right now. Doc did say my hormones are probably screwed up too... I'm very happy but crying.. Happy cry? probably.. thanks for reading and commenting. Love you guys.

Whew...

Good reports at the Dr. !!! CT scan good.. some abnormal tissue but he thinks thats due to radiation.. No treatments or Dr. appts. for 2 months. I'm feeling good about it all.. I think 2 months is a good time frame. Curt and had already discusses we wouldn't go 3 months without a check up because of how fast this can grow. I'm not going to say that deep down I'm always nervous it could pop up.. but it's not enough to take over my enthusiasm to be here and living to the fullest each day. I thank you sooo much for your prayers and concerns and sorry to have kept you in suspense all day. I'd love to go celebrate tonight but I think cuz of the nerves and now the relief... I'll actually sleep good tonight. :-)

Rock A Bye Baby - Thur a.m.

Someone please sing me to sleep.. eyes are wide open.. hot flashes.. in and out of the covers.. up and down out of bed.. drink of water.. nothing left to do but come write to my bloggers.. :-) I took my Ambien.. waiting to see if it'll kick in.. I'm like a kid the night before school starts.. whatever the results today.. I'll get through it, not just because I'm strong but I got my prayer warriors too :-).. think I'm more anxious for the appt. than anything.. I mean if the CT scan showed something I'm sure I'd have already heard from them. I don't know if it's that... or wanting to know what his next plan of action is for treatment.. whatever gods plan is...... I'll be all over it like a spider monkey.. (well.. is that even appropriate to say in the same sentence?) it made me chuckle.. bet your smiling too.. K, I'm good for now.. I hope to get back to you guys this afternoon.. Dr. appt. is at 12 noon.. so it will probably be this evening.. Thanks for listening. Love Deb

Awesome Day

Tuesday.. I had a day to myself.. and spent every minute of it running the roads.. went by all the Van schools.. signed up to Sub.. visited with many of the teachers I worked with last year.. good adult conversation.. :-) .. Our new Sonic opened today.. I'm sooo excited.. went in, met the managers and truly "hung out" with them.. made a new good friend from there.. but she lives 2 hours away.. visited with a girl at the bank today who wants to quit her job so she can spend more time with her baby girl.. had cheer practice with my girls. So much interaction with people I can hardly stand it. This is me.. this is what i'm about.. so how can I make this work.. with Chey starting school.. I want to do it all.. but not overdo it.. (not really expecting an answer, just talking out loud) can't wait to see what Wednesday brings.. all still keeping my mind busy for Thursday's Dr.'s appt. Thanks for checking in.. holler back at ya soon.. Deb

Head to Toe

Thought I'd take a moment to give you a head to toe update. How things are working or not with the body. Just because I haven't mentioned it in a while.
Headaches - more frequent, not severe but I use to never have headaches. Neck, when I put my head forward, like chin to chest I get a wierd tingling sensation all the way down my back to my feet. It doesn't hurt but its like a little shock. Sometimes I do it on purpose because it feels so weird. Still numb in the lower pelvic area front to back and not able to feel the urge to go to the bathroom.. somehow I still have control. Now it's either mind over matter but the numb area doesn't feel to be as large of an area as it use to. Feet still tingling numb. Not much pain anymore in my lower back.. unless I overdue it.. but I do get great releif with a little massage down my back. All in all I have my energy back (not to full force) I'm dealing very well with my body quirks and moving on. 2 more days before I meet with the Cancer Dr. I'm positive we will get a good report. :-) (but I ain't gonna lie, little scared) So I'll talk to you soon. Don't forget to vote on the mascot name to the right of the screen. Love ya'll. Deb

Eventful Weekend

Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday we had a day of rest.. all day.. it was nice but at the end of the day you look back and feel like you wasted it away. It was probably long overdue. Sunday.. we joined a new church :-) Although I enjoyed our other church.. it was only me that was involved and it is more important that we worship as a family. Those of you who read from VUMC I know you will understand.. and know I love you guys.

I'm really worked up about my Cancer Dr. appt. this Thur. don't really know why.. I do that to myself all the time. Drive myself crazy. Chey is so ready for school to start. Me too.. I think. Not sure what I'll do with my time.. bet I come up with something.. :-) I'm back to bad sleeping patterns.. that's why I'm up writing so late.. so I'm gonna try to go to sleep. I catch back up with you guys tomorrow. Have a good Monday. Love Debbie

I'M SMILING

Thank you bloggers!! I'm happy knowing you all are still there. I knew it in my heart.. just needed reassurance. :-) how silly of me. I'm feeling good. We took Chey to a waterpark in Dallas with some friends.. We had a great time.. I found time for a massage. (it was wonderful)

You know lately, I've been getting so many wonderful emails with quotes that probably before the cancer I wouldn't have paid much attention to and now they are more meaningful than ever. Im going to start sharing them with you and also tell you.. don't wait until something big or tragic happens before you to open your eyes and see what's right there in front of you. If you have good quotes to share.. post them on the blog or email to me so I can pass along to others.. you never know which one will touch or reach someone in a way that could be life changing. :-)

Quote: Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Testing 1..2..3..

Hello... anyone there.. I know you guys say your checking this a few times a day.. responses have slowed down... wondering if i'm writing to air.. but I keep coming here cuz I guess I like to write.. and it's like my own journal.

So good news today.. Spinal tap news nothing serious.. the white blood cells and protein are a little high but they said nothing to worry about. Does that still make me worry?? yes, a little.. but I'm not going to worry about it. CT scan was done Mon. waiting for results.. I may not hear anything until I have my Cancer Dr. visit next Thur. It's then I guess he will determine what to do next.. course this is my educated guess. :-@ I'll keep trucking along for now. Miss you guys.. shoot me a line even if it's on my personal email. cdsallee@peoplepc.com bye for now. deb

The New Me

This is the childhood dream I was telling you about! I've ordered my mascot! Crazy.. YES! How will I use it.. every way possible.. give a smile to a sick child or elderly, encourage kids, it's unlimited to what I can do. And if I pick up a few promotional jobs for businesses along the way.. cool too. I will be "living my dream" and encourage others to do the same.

We need a name. I want to use acronyms for the name. (i.e. Dream, Live, Enjoy, Believe.. positive encouraging words) Of course I want something catchy so kids can holler for me and it sounds cool.. See what you guys can come up with.. I have about 2 weeks before I have to turn in a name for them to print on my jersey. :-) I'm sooo excited.. For those who know me.. i'm sure your not surprised.. those who don't I'm already a mascot just didn't have a body to go with it. :-) love you guys!

Hello My Friends

Hope you all had a great weekend. I'm so excited.. we got my bathroom painted!!

So how am I feeling? I'm doing good, feel good, good energy, not sleeping good at nights but doing ok. I've learned to live with the numbness... you just do after a while. There's a chance the nerves could heal.. it could take 6 months to years.. the good news is it hasn't gotten any worse. The nerve Dr. has not given up on the numbness. He's putting me on blood thinners in hopes there are some areas in the damaged nerves that the blood can get through and start to feed the nerves again. I'm scheduled for another ENG (ugh) the nerve needle poking thing.. but I like this Dr. so much better.
Curt has been so good to me.. going to Dr. appts., rubbing my back when it aches.. making sure i'm taking care of myself, dinner, Cheyenne, honey do's around the house.. I'm so lucky to have him. A lady at the bank the other day reminded me of just that.. she to went through cancer and said her husband never went with her through treatment.. I don't know what I'd do if Curt wasn't there to hold my hand. One day, at an appointment, I was nervous, he knew it.. he got up, came over to me.. held me tight.. and said.... I give you my strength. It was the sweetest thing.. and honestly I felt it.. I'm so lucky.
Ok, deep breath.. so whats going on this week.. today I have a CT scan.. where I have to drink the barium stuff. (yuk) this will be of the organs so we can see if we have anything growing in there.. hopefully not. I'll meet with my cancer dr the end of the month to find out what the next plan of action will be for me. fingers crossed a small break from any kind of treatment would be nice.. just not to long since this stuff could grow very rapidly.. so I hope I got you all caught up. Haven't heard from you guys in a while. Love ya Deb.

Thursday 14th

Oh my gosh.. I'm up.. moving around.. not 100% yet my back is still a little sore.. that was miserable.. I couldn't sleep or relax.. to scared.. they had me so worried I was going to make the wrong move and make the fluid start leaking from my back.. I did sleep better last night.. but I'm already up and ready to hit the road.. run some errands and maybe find some adult conversation today.. I feel sorry for anybody I run into today. :-) Don't have any results back yet.. I'm going with the whole ... no news is good news idea.. so i'll check back in this afternoon and let you know how the day went. Thanks for your support and for writing. Deb

Benefit Recovery.. and tomorrow's Spinal Tap

I'm not one to ever admit I'm tired.. but today is me saying I'm plum give out!! I can't even imagine how all our friends that worked are feeling today. What a wonderful weekend! We'll be collecting the pics and hopefully posting to one location for all of you who didn't get to make it.

So, back to Dr.'s visits we go. Tomorrow we're heading to Baylor in Dallas for a Spinal Tap. (thinking happy thoughts.. thinking happy thoughts :-) Curt's going to take me. The "Highly" recommend me stay lying down for 24 hours.. (very hard for me) if I don't the fluid could start leaking and they'd have to go back in and clot the blood.. so I'm thinking I could handle lying down. Hoping I can get my computer to work from bed. :-) They are checking for 2 things with this Spinal Tap.. 1 for a disease I can't remember or pronounce, they don't think the numbness is caused by this but want to make sure.. and 2 to checking for cancer cells. I'm just thankful they are concerned and checking.. ya know. So it may be a day or so before I get back to writing you guys. Say a little prayer.. I'd love to hear from ya'll... make sure your still reading and to keep me company while I'm down. (physically) I'll talk to you soon. Love Debbie

Thur. Aug. 7th.

12:30 p.m. and what a day! Spent most of the morning watching our friends on Fox 26 News in Houston.. Mud trucks, many of our friends and Lanny the reporter. Promoting the event to make it a success. So fun to watch.. Way to go guys! check it out on www.myfoxhouston.com click Morning News then click on Live with Lanny..

Neurologist appt. today. Very nice Dr. he did say to go with the Spinal Tap he explained in good detail why.. the other neurologist wanted me to get something more evasive than the spinal tap.. this isn't suppose to be to bad. Bottom line.. they feel like the nerves are damaged due to the radiation. If it heals.. it could be months maybe years to do so.. so i may be living with this numbness.. but still have so much to be thankful for.

We'll now be heading down to Huntsville for the benefit. Can't wait to see everyone! You know I'll have pics to show you. Glad you checked in. See you soon. Love Debbie

Wed. Aug. 6th

Can you believe we are already in August. This week has been kinda busy.. although no radiation appointments (yea) Monday's CT of the bran came back good. (I BELIEVE in Prayer) My cancer Dr. scheduled an appointment to see a different neurologist.. I will see him tomorrow in Dallas. I'm hoping he can suggest something other than the spinal tap the other one wanted to do. We are all in good spirits.. Chey's doing good too. Pee wee cheerleading has started and keeping our minds busy. Looking forward to the benefit this weekend.. I can't wait to see everyone!!

Just want you all to know.. I have VERY much decided to start living my life like Randy Pausch told us in "The Last Lecture" .. (see "a video worth watching" on my blog)
I will live the childhood dream.. (almost there :-) Enjoy life everyday... and as you all have taught me... BELIEVE. Love you all.. Debbie

Hey there

Hello my friends.. Hope today's blog find you well. This morning I had a CT of the brain.. pretty sure there's a lot of nothing there (haha) it was short and sweet. We had a nice weekend and got in a really good nap on Sunday. :-) Looking forward to the Mud Bog benefit this weekend!! Although I had an appointment this morning I'm looking forward to not having to go to any appointments this week. That is really exciting. We had cheerleading camp for my 3rd and 4th graders this Sat. that was so much FUN.. I have 13 girls and I'm really excited about getting started. Health wise.. feeling good.. the regular stuff still going on.. I've made an appt. to see a G.I. to see if I can "get to the bottom" of things.. I'm in good spirits and thank you all again and again for your support and prayers. Love you. Debbie

Thursday's Dr. Visit

Today was ok.. no tumors found.. :-) I was nervous he would "feel" something the MRI's weren't showing. Especially because of the numbness and hemorrhoids. The neurologist ordered a CT of the brain, which the cancer Dr. wants me to keep. This is the only part that hasn't been scanned. I'm all for it... so if it was there we wouldn't be waiting until something happened. He he did say he'd refer me to another neurologist since I wasn't comfortable with this one.. and NOT to do the Spinal Tap at this time.. (amen) I realized today when talking with a friend that most of us still don't understand about my cancer. The type I have will never go away.. there's no tumor to remove.. the cancer cells are in the soft tissue and are very aggressive.. so it will be constantly watched and treated.. that's why every dr. appt. makes me nervous as to what they will find or what their treatment plan will be. And that there are only 4 of my type cancer in the world.. i'm basically a case study. But still positive. :-)
I made it through VBS but had to miss a couple of 1/2 days due to dr. appts. it was so much fun and I feel like I accomplished a goal of mine to get through it in good health. Thank you Donna for inviting me and "believing" in me that I would and could get through it.

Sleepless in Ben Wheeler

3:30 am and after laying in bed thinking of writing you i finally get up to do so. I had a bad dream.. in this dream I did pass.. but not of the cancer but in a tornado.. (crazy hu) I wonder, could it be a symbol of the tornado of things going through my head? Curt says I sometimes talk like I'm certain I'm gonna die.. I say, I finally realized... we all will pass sometime and for all of you who know me.. I need things to be in order.. :-@ will I get it all done?? I'll get damn close. :-) be it now or 40 years from now.. I also told him.. it was a bad enough shocker when we found out about the cancer and I feel like as long as I stay prepared.. IF the news ever comes (and we pray that it won't) where they put a "time" on my life... I feel like I might could deal with it a little better. I guess not to let my guard down.. (hope that makes sense) what haunts me ... this morning is my dr.'s appt. today. I found out that all the news about the numbness was new news to the cancer dr. and they scheduled me an immediate appointment for this week. I think it's all of the "What If''s" going through my head. I'm not a negative person.. or try not to be.. it's just for the most part.. my latest MRI's and test have turned out to be pretty good news... and... well... I want to stay on this "winning streak". One of my biggest worries is now that I'm done with radiation the only treatment left would be chemo.. I'm strong and know I can handle it.. but I guess I've set myself up to be so scared to do it.. I've made it worse.
Hu.. I'll be darn.. I'm sittin here now and my head is done.. I may even be able to go back to sleep.. you see how great this blog is.. I'm able to come here.. share.. and clear whats on my head. Plus I don't have to wake Curt up this early for one of those emotional moments. Thank you all for listening. I'll get back with you today after the Dr. appt. Say a prayer (I know you will) love Debbie.

Wuz up

Today Chey was better.. we met with our pastor for lunch.. she talked a little... course i wanted her to get it all out and be over it .. thats just me.. i think she'd do good with a lady.. dang if she isn't like me in so many ways.. (ya'll quit shaking your heads) i'm starting her blog.. :-) her friend invited her to spend the night tonight.. she was thrilled.. i'm thinking her getting out of the house is good for her.. it is so quiet here.. not sure what to do with myself.. but kinda enjoy it.. can't remember the last time i had alone time.. course i can't do it for long periods of time.. I'll drive myself crazy and love to talk to others to much. thank you all for your suggestions for chey.. tomorrow will be my visit with the cancer dr. it could be a long day .. they are squeezing me in which could be an all day affair.. i'll keep you posted. pray for good news.. love deb

Asking for help

Quick update on me... Radiation dr. wasn't happy i was seeing a chiropractor. so i called cancer dr. today.. they squeezed in an appt for this Thur. kinda glad.. maybe i'll get directed to appropriate dr for numbness.. i pray not back to the nerve dr.

Chey has started expressing her emotions.. she started crying last night.. why, why does my family have to go through this.. blaming herself, she said she didn't want to leave my side.. i talked her into going to VBS.. tonight she threw herself on the bed started crying and told her friend at least your parents don't have cancer.. OMG.. what do I do.. her sisters went home today so i'm sure she has relied on them being here to keep her mind off things.. she got very emotional about them leaving as well. there isn't a child counselor through Am. Cancer Society.. I'm going to email our pastor.. I know she needs to talk to someone just gotta find the right person she trust.. she's really smart.. i can't explain how bad this hurts my heart for her.. any suggestions right now would be extremely helpful.. I know you guys will come through for me.. Please pray for her.. I'm thinking about starting a second blog page for her.. she isn't a great typist but reads far beyond her level.. then she won't have to share or see all that I write and can get messages on her page from you guys.. I'll let you know.

Hi there

Hey there.. thanks for all the great comments.. sorry I'm late getting to you we took the girls to the beach this weekend for their last hooorah before they go home. They had a great time, so it was worth it.. the drive time and sitting for so long.. not so good.. but I did it! We did stop in New Caney and stay with my brother (Johnny) and his wife (Carolyn) to help cut the trip up a little.. Thank you guys for letting us invade your house. Tonight... rest.. and tomorrow starts my character as a "lifeguard" for Vacation Bible School the theme is "Surfin through the scriptures" you know i get into my character so when we got home this evening.. I was collecting all my "get up" to play my character. :-) I love connecting with the kiddos.. I think we feed off each other. Monday will be a busy day for me.. I'll update you Mon. night or Tues. morning.. hope you all had a great weekend. Love Debbie

On my nerves

Ok, the nerve Dr... can't find anything causing the numbness.. he gave me 2 options.. but weighed heavily on his first choice.. put me in the hospital take "protein from my back" sounds really scary.. and of course I'm sure very expensive.. other option which he wasn't interested was steroids to help the swelling go down.. his last words were... some Dr.'s would tell you to suck it up.. I swear he said this.. I left kinda angry then just realizing this wasn't working for me. I've been wanting to try a chiropractor.. so I went directly to one a friend Kelly referred me to.. he was very nice, I feel very confident he may be able to do something.. I go to see him tomorrow.. Wish me luck. :-) and of course I'll keep you posted.

Medical News

Boy I've been busy writing today.. be sure to scroll down and read all 3 post today. :-) So Mon. I had radiation.. went smoothly.. Dr. says the MRI from Friday didn't show any cancer. :-) praise the lord.. today, Tues. I decided for my on sanity to go to the clinic and have a Dr. confirm my self diagnosed hemorrhoids.. get this.. he's a 17 year cancer survivor.. He confirms and explains in more detail why I'm not healing as soon as I think I should and why the meds may not be working... I get it!!! he also said radiation was a lot harder on his body than chemo.. and if after a month after radiation they are still as bad as they are now.. I should talk to a surgeon about having them removed. So Wed. I go for my 4th radiation treatment, then the nerve Dr. where he'll discuss what he finds from Friday's MRI.. so now your up to speed.. guess you can tell by the way I've been writing today.. that I'm in good spirits.. dealing with my numbness and other ailments day by day and moving on.. I continue to BELIEVE thanks to the support of you guys and the good lord.

Last Weekend

We had a great weekend.. we visited, played games and went out in the boat for a couple of hours.. the family had a great time. Sun. we went to church.. what an experience.. you see, I love praise and worship.. so I went to early service at VUMC and low and behold they played my favorite song "Here I am to Worship" course I started crying.. Curt teared up a little.. but was strong for me and the family.. I had several good conversations with friends and members from there. Then we went to visit Colfax Baptist Church.. Curt was born and raised Baptist and I want us to be together as a family.. this was our second visit to the church. By the middle of the service.. both Curt and I had a meltdown.. by the end.. our whole family was crying.. but it was cleansing.. we prayed and the church prayed with us.. it was very emotional but good. There are not enough words to describe.. but I bet you get the picture..

What's coming up..

Ok, so you know if I'm feeling good I'm up for anything and I'm not going to let it get me down unless I'm just in to much pain.. so.. here's what I got goin on.. I have a nerve dr. appt. Wed. I seriously doubt there will be a rush to do anything for the numbness this week. My stepdaughters are down till next Thur. and since I haven't been able to plan them a big summer like I usually do.. we are going to try to make it up to the beach for this weekend. THEN next week I've been asked to be the Assembly Leader at Vacation Bible School again.. this will be the 3rd year.. I love it because I get to be a character, sing and act crazy.. helping the kiddos enjoy VBS. AND I'm coaching 3rd and 4th grade pee wee cheerleading.. once again.. me being me with the girls.. I really get into this.. and again as long as my health let's me... I'm there!! I have 13 girls this year.. perfect number to spoil them and have fun.. and of course Cheyenne will be on the team.. (that's the whole point) :-) I love having things to keep my mind busy and not just sitting at home..

No new news on Friday

So Friday has come and gone.. (almost) no news from the MRI.. it'll be next week. Lets us our prayers this weekend for no signs of cancer growing.. I've heard from a lot of you regarding my emotional note the other day.. sorry if i made you cry.. but that's how we do it without breaking down on each other.. I've heard from a lot of you that you don't like posting for others to read or that your to emotional.. remember for as much as you check this for an update.. so do I for support and my therapy.. :-) remember I have an email address if you don't want to go public with your comments.. I love hearing from you and check the blog frequently as well.. For those who comment frequently.. they NEVER get old.. :-) my email address is cdsallee@peoplepc.com I have radiation on Monday at 8:45.. I hope and pray to get some answers so I can let down my "worries" for a day or so. Hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful weekend together.. don't forget to "take it all in". Love Deb

Shock and awe.. I mean ouch!

Neurologist visit.. yikes that hurt.. needles and shock in the leg.. and needles in the middle of my back.. OMG!! results show some nerve damage in my right leg.. shocks were sent up my leg and are suppose to go to my spinal cord and come back.. they weren't returning. unable to know the cause or if treatable at this time.. until the MRI tomorrow morning.. probably won't know anyting until next week.. my appt. is scheduled for next Wed. I know I'm on all of your prayer list and ask for a little special praying that this is just inflamation in the pelvic area and not the cancer on my nerves. I've been all worked up about the MRI.. it'll be 45 min. and I didn't think I was claustrophobic but I'm showing signs... I can and will do this.. get it over with and have a good weekend.. Thank all of you for willing me to BELIEVE and be strong. Love Deb

Wednesday's "Special"

I'm very nervous on what they may find in the test today and tomorrow. I'm worried about ending up in the hospital or something.. Just as I panicked and went to Disneyland... I started to do so this week. Yesterday turned into a "bucket list" if you will. I took Chey to get a couples massage. She'd been wanting to do it for a while... She was thrilled smiling from ear to ear and enjoyed it so much. It was a beautiful experience. Next would be dancing and time with Curt. When we first met, country dancing was our thing.. I can only explain it as beautiful, it was like no one else was around.. and us bonding as one as we'd glide across the floor. Kinda like that saying dance like no ones watching.. but I do believe people did watch us dance. Course we were both tired from the day and didn't have the strength to go to a club.. My mother in law took the girls to see a movie.. so we stayed home.. reminisced, cried, laughed and danced in our own living room.. it was more romantic and beautiful than I can ever put into words.. and yes.. I'm crying as I'm writing this.. but only to let you know how wonderful my life, my husband and my family are and how lucky I am to have these moments. Again, I'm telling you this so you can hopefully sit back and realize in your own life what you have, what's most important and take it in.. Don't wait until you have to look at things through a different colored glasses.. Thank you Curtis for such a special evening.. I love you with all my heart. Deb