I have cancer

I talk to myself a lot.. hopefully most of you do to.. or you'll be sending the guys in the white coats after me.. haha. lately I've been questioning myself about telling people I have cancer. Feeling almost guilty for telling them. It just seems if I'm having good conversation with someone and we are getting to know each other I usually end up telling them. Me and myself have been trying to figure out why I feel the need to tell them. I'm 99% sure it's not for sympathy.. I feel more like I'm proud of where I am because I have cancer, I'm2 strong, I'm happy with everyday and life, and feel like I'm beating it.. and, that I might just inspire someone just in passing.. so I shouldn't feel guilty.. right? That's my question and thought for the day.. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Thanks! Oh and HAPPY FRIDAY !!!

25 Random Things

I got the neatest email the other day.. you know those emails you get that say what's your favorite color.. last movie you watched.. etc. those are good, but this one was 25 random things about you.. where you write down 25 random things about yourself that people may not know.. I enjoyed reading it so much and have now been on a quest to find my 25 random things.. i'm really putting thought to it too.. it's been kinda fun.. since I've been subbing I've realized I have a quirk about shoes being untied.. and that I've always wanted to learn to whistle with my fingers or my mouth.. I"m still searching though.. and until I come up with a good list I'm not going to email out.. so today.. start making a list.. 25 random things I'd love you to share them with me. :-) today is my last day to sub coaching.. I've had so much fun.. and glad to have Friday off.. yeah.. have a good rest of the day.. I'll holler back tomorrow. Love ya . Deb

Deb's random thoughts

Burrrr it's so cold out there today.. but the comments left for me yesterday keep my heart warm and moving (thanks Jessica and Julie) Due to the cold, school starts at 10 today.. I'll be subbing P.E. again. I'm having a lot of fun with that.. It's surprising to me even after seeing the Oprah show the other day at the burdon kids today carry on their shoulders.. they look to anyone who will listen to tell their story.. I'm just a sub and hear things like parents getting out of jail, or somone who's dad pushed their mom over a coffee table and she hit her head.. how crazy is that.. all the more respect for teachers who see and hear this every day.. going home and wondering if there is something you should or could do for that child.. so this week has been rather eye opening about listening to children and understanding .. or trying to understand what's going on in their heads they arn't telling us about.. Like the book recently given to me.. and apparantly opening my eyes.. Love to a child spells.... TIME. you all have a great Wed. Love Debbie

DANG OPRAH SHOW

Hello... did anybody see Oprah yesterday.. wow, an emotional ride.. for sure.. kids speaking out about what makes them angry.. saying it out loud and crying.. I'm crying, Chey's crying because it's so touching.. Then... I asked her.. (don't know what I was thinking..) "Chey are you ok, do you have any anger inside.. well low and behold.. the words.. I'M ANGRY BECAUSE YOU HAVE CANCER came pooring out of her.. crying and asking why.. I teared up a little but was strong and told her how lucky we have been since the news.. was it good for her, yes... I think her opening up yesterday was a confirmation that it's ok to speak out and say what's bothering you. a reminder for me, that although we move on, and look on the brighter things in life and keep ourselves busy.... we all have a tendancy to bury things deep inside and truly need to let them out to be able to live fully.. that is with anything, relationships, money, health, family issues... a good lesson for us all. Thanks for being here for me today. I'm subbing P.E. and having a good day but did need to get this out. May God bless you all today.
Debbie

Busy Weekend

Hope you all had a safe weekend. We filled our glass to the very minute this weekend. Sat. Chey had Dance and cheer practice and 2 basketball games, Sunday cheer competition in Shreveport. All a lot of fun and fast paced.. Cheyenne is so versitle and amazing, she gives 100% at everything she does. (proud momma moment... I'm aloud) :-) Feeling good.. you could say a used a lot of energy this weekend and feeling it today.. but that's normal for anyone.. so I'm normal (haha) Subbing today throught Thur. at our Middle School and heavily in my mind working on plans to help the kiddos in the childrens home. You'll be hearing a lot about that I'm sure. So, I'll be checking back with you all. Have a great Monday. Debbie

The Spirit of Giving

Sorry I missed ya yesterday.. I went to visit a Children's Home / Orphanage. I know, your asking where I come up with this stuff. I have been talking with Cheyenne about us volunteering this year.. it's on my "list" to teach Cheyenne about giving. We went to see the movie Hotel for Dogs and the 2 kids in the show were orphans.. Chey and I talked and thought helping share our family, our friends and our love is what we would like to do. Plus, you may not know this about me but I was adopted. So there's a little something special there. I found Boles Childrens Home on the internet, about 40 minutes away. It was awesome. There's so many needs, a great start for us to begin our mission. :-) P.S. thanks for your kind words from my bad dream day.. I'm not gonna say it wasn't a reminder for me, but I'm over it. :-) I look forward to sharing our new adventure of giving with you soon. Love Debbie

Bad Dream

I'm glad I believe that dreams don't always mean that is what will happen. I've even looked things up in dream books before.. just for kicks.. Last night wasn't a good dream. This morning I find myself a little upset, but continue to remind myself it was only a dream. I can't help but think of how it "could" be a reality though.. makes it a little tough. Yes, I have put this in gods hands.. and I continue to LIVE every moment of every day.. but sometimes in our lives we do the out of site out of mind theory and it comes back to haunt you.. I know that is a negative way to look at it.. sorry. The thing I worry about the most, I guess, is the time between Dr. visits is to long and that one day when I walk in there I'll be told my body is full of cancer and there's nothing they can do.. then again, on a positive note, so you all won't think I'm completely negative.. is that when they zapped me with radiation immediately after surgery that they got all the cells that were there.. Ok, so out of all my recent good days.. here is ONE bad day... well, let's just say morning.. this afternoon could totally be better.. Thanks so much for being here to listen.. just getting out what my mind is saying to itself (little crazy) helps. Love to you all. Debbie

Take time to read..

Hope all is well.. homefront seems a little quiet. I've had a little time to do some reading this weekend. Wanted to share with you all. Received to very inspirational books from friends. First one is THE DASH (from Julie). I'm sure a lot of you have heard about THE DASH.. referring to the dash on your headstone between the year you were born and the year you passed. It's very good. I'm posting it for a few days (see left) The other good book is To a Child "LOVE" is spelled TIME (from Tammy M). Very good read.. about how special the time we spend with our kids really is. :-) A beautiful day and time to read.. Slow down and take a moment in this fast paced world. Love ya.. Deb

Another good story

Sorry I'm late.. I'm subbing again today.. keeps me busy.. I have a lot I want to do at home.. but I'm terrible at saying no. :-@ So last night I was talking to one of Chey's friends mom, and heard another story about someone who visits my blog daily.. she doesn't know me but feels as though she does.. Hello Kathy (Reese's grandmother :-) I can't tell you what it does for me to know there are those who are willing and interested in the daily life of someone battling cancer. Of course I'm not an average person.. my lifestyle is definately different that others.. and my choices after getting the news may be different than others.. but if I can inspire, entertain, or continue to get your support with this blog.. it makes me feel what I am doing and how I am dealing is right and good.. really good. Thank you.. I know there is no way to tell how many peeps I have out there reading this but I do feel an extra vibe / energy inside when I hear of others like Kathy reading. So my break is almost up.. I'll catch ya tomorrow. Thanks for being here. Love Deb

Waaa Bam

New year.. new changes to the page.. I don't really have a lot of options to choose from.. but this one seemed happy and colorful.. hope you like it. My columns changed a little but .. change is good.. right? This year I've noticed a few changes in me... wanting to let my hair grow out a bit.. wearing a little bit different style of clothes.. some with color (I have a lot of black) and of course set out on any and all adventures possible. Weird though.. I'm about 90/10.. 90% go all out.. 10% skeptism and worry about those little aches and pains in the pelvic area and whats going on in this body of mine. Pretty good percentage don't ya think. I hope you guys don't get board with me just writing about my typical days.. I think for you guys that come here .. we all know what lies at the heart of this and to read about the good days is a nice twist. Hope you all have a great day. Hey.. high five someone today that doesn't expect it.. it's really fun. See ya soon. Deb

Hi.

Hey there... Oh my gosh I've let the time get away from me.. I'm doing good.. haven't fell off the face of the earth. Of course staying busy, man it feels good to check things off your list each day. Last night worked out good.. Chey's cheer practice was cancelled and we had a little family time. And of course that is always good. We worked with Chey on her tumbling a little bit.. and I did a roundoff.. :-) wooo whoo.. I need to start exercising a little bit. (need to a lot, but I won't push it) :-) So I'm in good spirits, living good, and having fun.. got another birthday coming soon.. 40 was good.. but I'm gonna make 41 even better. Gonna run for now.. gotta pick Chey up from school. I'm gonna sub tomorrow again but I'll be checking in. Thanks for stopping by. Deb

Happy Friday

I'm ready for this weekend.. just took Chey to the Dr. for strep (again) the Dr. laughed when I asked is she a carrier for strep.. but omg.. we get this several... more than several times a year.. and here we are in the first week of Jan. she cried because she couldn't go to school and that she always gets strep.. it told her it could be worse she could have vomiting or poopies.. :-) so no traveling this weekend.. woo hoo.. remember it's a new year.. make every moment count !! Have a great weekend. Love Deb

The Interview I've been waiting for.. Patrick Swayze

Oh my gosh.. sittin here with my puffy eyes and red nose, after watching Patrick and his wife. What a great interview.. he said so many things that I feel.. about fighting, not giving up, and staying so busy you don't give your mind or your body time to think about it. AND he felt the same as I did about trying all the remedies and cancer diets that say they can cure cancer, basically chasing everything and missing out on the important things in life.. as far as his smoking.. think I would have quit knowing that could have caused it.. but for me, my bad habit is eating.. my mindset is that cancer eats at you making you lose weight and become unhealthy and sick.. well by gosh I'm gonna give it plenty to eat on.. (haha) Oh.. Oh.. and the same motto "get busy living or get busy dying" right on brother!! during the interview I was crying like a baby but in the same catch my breath moments.. I was saying right on man.. one thing he has felt that I haven't is anger.. don't know why... Curt has though.. Well, I tried to link his story to my page but having a little trouble. check it out at http://www.abcnews.go.com/ I also felt the need, since I get new readers every now and then, to put THE LAST LECTURE back up to the top of the page for you guys to see what and who inspired me to start this blog and be on the path and living the life that I'm living.. As Patrick said, he's amazed and inspired by the people that surround him with support and love.. I may not be a movie star but I feel like my support team (all of you) matches up to his and maybe even more. Thank you. I love you. Debbie.

First week of the new year..

Subbing again today. Well, head start.. 4 yr. olds. I now remember why I stopped at one.. haha..
I told myself the first of the year I would stay home, get organized and get my new plans started.. and here I am subbing this week.. all but Friday. Honestly, I think it's the interaction with the staff here at the school.. they are a fun group of ladies who I enjoy being around.

I had another inspiring story from a friend last night.. a relative of theirs found out she had cancer, and our freind referred them to my blog.. hoping to help them cope. I'm thrilled that I can give others a place to go and read about someone else who's dealing with some of the same issues. Another goal this year, get people together here locally so we can visit and talk if we want to or just play games :-). I tell you, there is a special bond when you talk with someone who has cancer with you.. like a blood brother or sister you've never known. Sorry for rambling, kids are down for a nap. :-) I'll check back in tomorrow. Have a great day. Debbie

Adult interaction

So today I'm subbing at the Intermediate school.. little adult interaction.. and well, students too. :-) I have a tendancy to get caught in front of the computer all day and get nothing else done.. so getting out of the house feels a little productive too.. glad to year from some of you guys that you had a good Christmas and New Year.. I saw a commercial on a Barbara Walters special coming on Wed. I think, where Patrick Swayze talks about his battle with cancer and why he continues to push and stay busy daily.. I can't wait to see it.. sounds a lot like me. Maybe I am normal. (HA) !!.. talk to you soon.
Debbie

Happy 2009

Hope you all had a wonderful end to 2008. We've been on the road for the last bit of ours with our family and it has been wonderful. I'll tell you in April of last year I would have thought we'd have been in a little darker place at this time. I'm so thankful we have been blessed with time and health. :-) If you were in my brain you'd be getting dizzy right now with all the wheels that are spinning.. One things for sure.. figure out and on god's plan for me here.. :-) It's gotta be big... he just had to hit me over the head last year for me to listen. As your setting your new years goals.. remember to slow down and listen to that little voice in your head or on your shoulder.. don't wait to get hit on the head like me. :-) Love and blessings to you all. Debbie