Preparing for next week

I find myself totally nesting for next week. This Friday.. just 2 days from now my baby girl will be getting her tonsils out.. I'm nervous as all get out.. from recovering from the meds that put her under.. to her coming out of it ok.. and recovery time.. she's not good with pain. ugh.. Chey has been ok with it but last night she said she was getting a little nervous.. and I find myself trying to find things that will keep her comfortable during this time.. can you tell we haven't been in the hospital or had anything major done with my baby.. I ask myself if now is a good time.. and can answer both yes and no.. one thing for sure.. is that going through this will be hard.. but I want and need to be here for this.. and never knowing our future exactly makes this time seem ok. And the goal of no more strep sounds good. I'm stressing a little yes.. but I'll be ok. So thanks for listening. Say a prayer for Cheyenne .. and me. :-) Love Deb

Reading

Don't know about you but I never have time or take time to read.. I know I should and that it can work like a puzzle taking your mind off everything else.. but then the other day when we were "spring cleaning" and Curt tells me I need to get rid of all the Oprah magazines I have been holding on to.. to one day read.. (2 years worth) stop laughing.. I do want to read through them..
I did start skimming through them (to prove a point to Curt.. haha) and found inspirational things that I need to read and or see every once in a while.. I want to share a couple of things that reached out to me.. in case you too don't have time for inspirations.. Have a great day.. Deb
1. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.
2. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.
3. what you BELIEVE has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you BELIEVE. :-)

New Record for Debbie

I've realized I'm a YES woman.. I love helping people.. I love being needed and feel as though I can do it all. (Superwoman) I've felt overwhelmed many times but think I have lost my super hero cape. Last night was the first time I had to let go of a project I promised someone. Course I did it the "chicken way" by email.. I gotta say it was a relief but a little discouraging that I let someone down. Curt was a great support.. telling me how proud he was of me to do this.. and I know he meant it.. he's been telling me this for years. I've found myself stressing way more than I want or need to be... but I've been doing it to myself.. being the YES woman and all. So, I'm taking a deep breath today and moving on.. hoping to be forgiven for letting them down.. so now my right shoulder is a little lighter today.. (haha) gonna see if I can't do a few more things so I can get back to being ME.. :-) Thanks for listening.. Love ya. Debbie

Strep again

Has it been crazy for you guys this week.. I can't even see straight.. you ever been so tired you can't sleep.. what tha... So Chey said she had the feeling bees went into her throat and stung her the other day.. which registered in my head.. time to go to the doctor.. sure enough the child was borderline positive strep.. (caught it really early) that does it.. I've made an appt. to the ENT for next week.. time for some tonsils to come out .. or I'm gonna do it myself.. :-) this is her 4th time in a year.. then I figure since we are doing Dr. appts she has told me several times one eye sees better than the other.. so we went to the eye doctor.. her right eye is a little weaker but not worth getting glasses.. yeah.. celebrate the little victories.. ya know.. I'm doing good.. feeling good.. not worrying.. pulled out the dry erase board to get our goals on to help us stay on track.. for those of you who know me.. the dry erase is a necessity for our life and schedule..:-) well.. rambling today.. catching up for the week.. hope you all are doing well. Stay dry this weekend. Love Debbie

Fun Easter

Good Morning.. hope you all had a wonderful Easter.. ours was busy and fun... glad the weather worked in our favor for the egg hunt. So great to see all of you that wrote on my last post.. :-) So I had another one of those moments this morning.. I apologized to Cheyenne for always correcting her on little things.. I really don't expect her to be perfect.. i swear.. but I caught myself yesterday while her and a few kiddos and the men played a little softball in the yard that i was correcting how she was batting.. i mean every little detail.. she was laughing and so was I .. but why couldn't I just leave it alone... but she was so sweet this morning.. and kinda adult like.. she was like awww mom.. it's no big deal. it was really cute and reassuring.. but i just needed her to know I didn't want to be that way and she is perfect the way she is. (to much Dr. Phil maybe) lol.. So this is the actual anniversary week for me.. deep breath. Can't really explain how i am feeling about it right now.. truly glad it's been a year and hope for many more.. guess I will keep it at that for now.. :-) Have a great Monday.. thanks for listening and letting me clear my head this morning.. Love Deb

Watching my child

I totally admit I am guilty of keeping a schedule for my family that stays way overbooked.. (don't say anything Curt...) some stems from being diagnosed last year and the rest is just my nature.. other times I have a hard time saying no.. So what does all this have to do with the title "watching my child" for some reason.. today when I dropped off Chey to school... (Late) I sat there and watched her walk all the way up the walkway in the door and around the corner before I left.. my brain, my world stopped around me and focused in on her.. I can't really say what I was thinking during that time.. just taking it in.. and almost got tears in my eyes.. I guess.. I'm just wondering... does she know.. does she know how much I love her.. how special she is??? ok.. getting tears now.. I think we get in this routine and go through the motions get up, get dressed, get your stuff.. kiss dad bye.. kiss Chey bye have a good day and go.. ya know what I mean.. I'm thinking I need to change things up a bit.. i dunno how.. but that is my next project.. just sharing my thoughts with ya in case you too are in a routine.. thanks for reading. May you to step back and see something in your life that makes your heart swell. Love Debbie

Anniversary

Good morning all.. hope you had a wonderful weekend.. dunno wuz up with this weather.. omg.. Curt's been feeling a little under the weather.. sinus, allergy, congestion.. poor baby.. he's heading to the doctor today.. Do you guys realize that this month will be my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer.. I dunno.. do you call that an anniversary.. you don't want to celebrate it happening but we sure are glad we are able to say we have made it a year since I was diagnosed. Ya know.. I say.. celebrate any and all victories... big or small. :-) I've decided that even though it's been a year.. that this blog has definately been a good tool for me and why not keep a good thing going.. so I'll continue writing.. visit when you like and comment when you can or if you want.. I may miss a day here or there.. being so busy and all.. but I love coming here to my online therapy group.. you know people pay good money for therapist.. not me.. i've got you guys. thanks for being here.. have a great day and I'll talk to you soon..
Love Debbie

Back in full swing

I have so many irons in the fire right now I'm just a tad overloaded.. gonna use this beautiful weekend to find myself, my priorities.. and my floor (haha) It's time to Spring Clean and get rid of clutter and things that frustrate me.. it's time to check things off my check off list and get back to enjoying life... not that I haven't been.. but the last two weeks before my doctors appt.. I let everything go.. day or two would have been ok.. but two weeks.. can you say with a capital OMG... now something else happened this week to someone Curt use to work with.. a man was visiting his mom walking back across the street to his house and was hit and killed by a vehicle. Only reminding me that none of us really know when our time is. And you say to yourself.. i just saw that person the other day.. so just a reminder to LIVE... I love you all... Deb