I have cancer

I talk to myself a lot.. hopefully most of you do to.. or you'll be sending the guys in the white coats after me.. haha. lately I've been questioning myself about telling people I have cancer. Feeling almost guilty for telling them. It just seems if I'm having good conversation with someone and we are getting to know each other I usually end up telling them. Me and myself have been trying to figure out why I feel the need to tell them. I'm 99% sure it's not for sympathy.. I feel more like I'm proud of where I am because I have cancer, I'm2 strong, I'm happy with everyday and life, and feel like I'm beating it.. and, that I might just inspire someone just in passing.. so I shouldn't feel guilty.. right? That's my question and thought for the day.. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Thanks! Oh and HAPPY FRIDAY !!!

25 Random Things

I got the neatest email the other day.. you know those emails you get that say what's your favorite color.. last movie you watched.. etc. those are good, but this one was 25 random things about you.. where you write down 25 random things about yourself that people may not know.. I enjoyed reading it so much and have now been on a quest to find my 25 random things.. i'm really putting thought to it too.. it's been kinda fun.. since I've been subbing I've realized I have a quirk about shoes being untied.. and that I've always wanted to learn to whistle with my fingers or my mouth.. I"m still searching though.. and until I come up with a good list I'm not going to email out.. so today.. start making a list.. 25 random things I'd love you to share them with me. :-) today is my last day to sub coaching.. I've had so much fun.. and glad to have Friday off.. yeah.. have a good rest of the day.. I'll holler back tomorrow. Love ya . Deb

Deb's random thoughts

Burrrr it's so cold out there today.. but the comments left for me yesterday keep my heart warm and moving (thanks Jessica and Julie) Due to the cold, school starts at 10 today.. I'll be subbing P.E. again. I'm having a lot of fun with that.. It's surprising to me even after seeing the Oprah show the other day at the burdon kids today carry on their shoulders.. they look to anyone who will listen to tell their story.. I'm just a sub and hear things like parents getting out of jail, or somone who's dad pushed their mom over a coffee table and she hit her head.. how crazy is that.. all the more respect for teachers who see and hear this every day.. going home and wondering if there is something you should or could do for that child.. so this week has been rather eye opening about listening to children and understanding .. or trying to understand what's going on in their heads they arn't telling us about.. Like the book recently given to me.. and apparantly opening my eyes.. Love to a child spells.... TIME. you all have a great Wed. Love Debbie

DANG OPRAH SHOW

Hello... did anybody see Oprah yesterday.. wow, an emotional ride.. for sure.. kids speaking out about what makes them angry.. saying it out loud and crying.. I'm crying, Chey's crying because it's so touching.. Then... I asked her.. (don't know what I was thinking..) "Chey are you ok, do you have any anger inside.. well low and behold.. the words.. I'M ANGRY BECAUSE YOU HAVE CANCER came pooring out of her.. crying and asking why.. I teared up a little but was strong and told her how lucky we have been since the news.. was it good for her, yes... I think her opening up yesterday was a confirmation that it's ok to speak out and say what's bothering you. a reminder for me, that although we move on, and look on the brighter things in life and keep ourselves busy.... we all have a tendancy to bury things deep inside and truly need to let them out to be able to live fully.. that is with anything, relationships, money, health, family issues... a good lesson for us all. Thanks for being here for me today. I'm subbing P.E. and having a good day but did need to get this out. May God bless you all today.
Debbie

Busy Weekend

Hope you all had a safe weekend. We filled our glass to the very minute this weekend. Sat. Chey had Dance and cheer practice and 2 basketball games, Sunday cheer competition in Shreveport. All a lot of fun and fast paced.. Cheyenne is so versitle and amazing, she gives 100% at everything she does. (proud momma moment... I'm aloud) :-) Feeling good.. you could say a used a lot of energy this weekend and feeling it today.. but that's normal for anyone.. so I'm normal (haha) Subbing today throught Thur. at our Middle School and heavily in my mind working on plans to help the kiddos in the childrens home. You'll be hearing a lot about that I'm sure. So, I'll be checking back with you all. Have a great Monday. Debbie

The Spirit of Giving

Sorry I missed ya yesterday.. I went to visit a Children's Home / Orphanage. I know, your asking where I come up with this stuff. I have been talking with Cheyenne about us volunteering this year.. it's on my "list" to teach Cheyenne about giving. We went to see the movie Hotel for Dogs and the 2 kids in the show were orphans.. Chey and I talked and thought helping share our family, our friends and our love is what we would like to do. Plus, you may not know this about me but I was adopted. So there's a little something special there. I found Boles Childrens Home on the internet, about 40 minutes away. It was awesome. There's so many needs, a great start for us to begin our mission. :-) P.S. thanks for your kind words from my bad dream day.. I'm not gonna say it wasn't a reminder for me, but I'm over it. :-) I look forward to sharing our new adventure of giving with you soon. Love Debbie

Bad Dream

I'm glad I believe that dreams don't always mean that is what will happen. I've even looked things up in dream books before.. just for kicks.. Last night wasn't a good dream. This morning I find myself a little upset, but continue to remind myself it was only a dream. I can't help but think of how it "could" be a reality though.. makes it a little tough. Yes, I have put this in gods hands.. and I continue to LIVE every moment of every day.. but sometimes in our lives we do the out of site out of mind theory and it comes back to haunt you.. I know that is a negative way to look at it.. sorry. The thing I worry about the most, I guess, is the time between Dr. visits is to long and that one day when I walk in there I'll be told my body is full of cancer and there's nothing they can do.. then again, on a positive note, so you all won't think I'm completely negative.. is that when they zapped me with radiation immediately after surgery that they got all the cells that were there.. Ok, so out of all my recent good days.. here is ONE bad day... well, let's just say morning.. this afternoon could totally be better.. Thanks so much for being here to listen.. just getting out what my mind is saying to itself (little crazy) helps. Love to you all. Debbie