Last Weekend

We had a great weekend.. we visited, played games and went out in the boat for a couple of hours.. the family had a great time. Sun. we went to church.. what an experience.. you see, I love praise and worship.. so I went to early service at VUMC and low and behold they played my favorite song "Here I am to Worship" course I started crying.. Curt teared up a little.. but was strong for me and the family.. I had several good conversations with friends and members from there. Then we went to visit Colfax Baptist Church.. Curt was born and raised Baptist and I want us to be together as a family.. this was our second visit to the church. By the middle of the service.. both Curt and I had a meltdown.. by the end.. our whole family was crying.. but it was cleansing.. we prayed and the church prayed with us.. it was very emotional but good. There are not enough words to describe.. but I bet you get the picture..

What's coming up..

Ok, so you know if I'm feeling good I'm up for anything and I'm not going to let it get me down unless I'm just in to much pain.. so.. here's what I got goin on.. I have a nerve dr. appt. Wed. I seriously doubt there will be a rush to do anything for the numbness this week. My stepdaughters are down till next Thur. and since I haven't been able to plan them a big summer like I usually do.. we are going to try to make it up to the beach for this weekend. THEN next week I've been asked to be the Assembly Leader at Vacation Bible School again.. this will be the 3rd year.. I love it because I get to be a character, sing and act crazy.. helping the kiddos enjoy VBS. AND I'm coaching 3rd and 4th grade pee wee cheerleading.. once again.. me being me with the girls.. I really get into this.. and again as long as my health let's me... I'm there!! I have 13 girls this year.. perfect number to spoil them and have fun.. and of course Cheyenne will be on the team.. (that's the whole point) :-) I love having things to keep my mind busy and not just sitting at home..

No new news on Friday

So Friday has come and gone.. (almost) no news from the MRI.. it'll be next week. Lets us our prayers this weekend for no signs of cancer growing.. I've heard from a lot of you regarding my emotional note the other day.. sorry if i made you cry.. but that's how we do it without breaking down on each other.. I've heard from a lot of you that you don't like posting for others to read or that your to emotional.. remember for as much as you check this for an update.. so do I for support and my therapy.. :-) remember I have an email address if you don't want to go public with your comments.. I love hearing from you and check the blog frequently as well.. For those who comment frequently.. they NEVER get old.. :-) my email address is cdsallee@peoplepc.com I have radiation on Monday at 8:45.. I hope and pray to get some answers so I can let down my "worries" for a day or so. Hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful weekend together.. don't forget to "take it all in". Love Deb

Shock and awe.. I mean ouch!

Neurologist visit.. yikes that hurt.. needles and shock in the leg.. and needles in the middle of my back.. OMG!! results show some nerve damage in my right leg.. shocks were sent up my leg and are suppose to go to my spinal cord and come back.. they weren't returning. unable to know the cause or if treatable at this time.. until the MRI tomorrow morning.. probably won't know anyting until next week.. my appt. is scheduled for next Wed. I know I'm on all of your prayer list and ask for a little special praying that this is just inflamation in the pelvic area and not the cancer on my nerves. I've been all worked up about the MRI.. it'll be 45 min. and I didn't think I was claustrophobic but I'm showing signs... I can and will do this.. get it over with and have a good weekend.. Thank all of you for willing me to BELIEVE and be strong. Love Deb

Wednesday's "Special"

I'm very nervous on what they may find in the test today and tomorrow. I'm worried about ending up in the hospital or something.. Just as I panicked and went to Disneyland... I started to do so this week. Yesterday turned into a "bucket list" if you will. I took Chey to get a couples massage. She'd been wanting to do it for a while... She was thrilled smiling from ear to ear and enjoyed it so much. It was a beautiful experience. Next would be dancing and time with Curt. When we first met, country dancing was our thing.. I can only explain it as beautiful, it was like no one else was around.. and us bonding as one as we'd glide across the floor. Kinda like that saying dance like no ones watching.. but I do believe people did watch us dance. Course we were both tired from the day and didn't have the strength to go to a club.. My mother in law took the girls to see a movie.. so we stayed home.. reminisced, cried, laughed and danced in our own living room.. it was more romantic and beautiful than I can ever put into words.. and yes.. I'm crying as I'm writing this.. but only to let you know how wonderful my life, my husband and my family are and how lucky I am to have these moments. Again, I'm telling you this so you can hopefully sit back and realize in your own life what you have, what's most important and take it in.. Don't wait until you have to look at things through a different colored glasses.. Thank you Curtis for such a special evening.. I love you with all my heart. Deb

My Stars Are Changing :-)

The other night, Curt and I were sitting on the porch visiting. I was looking out into the trees daydreaming I guess and something caught my eye. There was a star in the tree.. I looked closer and saw it was a yellow leaf.. the only yellow leaf on the tree. I thought for a minute and showed it to Curt.. telling him, look "my stars are changing" :-) I had to take a picture and share with you. I have to BELIEVE it's a sign of good things to come. And when the leaf falls, you can bet I get it and keep it. You know I think there are signs around us all the time.. we just don't take the time to see them. Take a moment each day to enjoy the world around you. Love Deb

Sorry I Left Ya Hanging

Hey there.. I'm so sorry I left you guys hanging. Past few days have been tough. Monday's radiation was ok.. laying on the table for a lengthy time was hard. My radiation Dr. got an appt. w/the neurologist the same day. He's gonna have to run test to figure out the numbness. Guess what, another MRI (ugh) the MRI from Fri. night ER didn't include a pelvic scan.. Oh, and you guys know how my Friday's go... My MRI's scheduled for Friday. Thur. I'll have an EMG where they will be testing my nerves to see if they can find something. So how bad is the numbness... Right side of right foot and calf.. it's a tingling numbness.. and entire pelvic area with no tingle.. just numb.. having trouble telling when I need to go to the bathroom.. somehow I still have control.. (thank god) I woke up this morning trying positive affirmation.. I'm about 70/30 at this time.. believing myself about 30%. I'll hopefully get there but I'm working really hard at it. So what's my schedule like.. Wed. radiation (a.m) Thur. neurologist (afternoon) Fri. MRI (7 am) kinda crazy.. guess I'll be going another week without knowing what's going on.